The more one gets into things, piles things upon oneself, steps out of comfort zones, one loses oneself in the mad rush of things, just to be.
Who am I? (Noooo Do NOT give me that “Thenmavinkombath” movie-speak! 😀 ) Why on earth did I do that? And that inner-cautious-you looks on in disdain… Have you been there? It isn’t regret, that I refer to, more of the aimless, directionless state of being. Sometimes, I like it, that bobbing on the surface (tension) of unplumbed depths of whatevers. More, these days. It is dangerous, let me tell you. 😀
So, it comes to be, that at such moments, when the bobbing on the surface (tension 😀 ), you also find stuff.
That you can be more (add any “more” you’d like 😛 )
That you are allowed to be less too. (corollary to the above, with no riders 😀 )
That you will never find what you want, but might stumble upon something you need/ed.
That you might reconsider getting lost again. To the uninitiated, this adventure is fraught with threadbare intentions, where you thought the weave was strong, to wrap around yourself!
You’ll find more of you. I know.
I never thought I could turn my back on nearly three decades worth of the only career I knew.
I followed a stray thought of independence – to a certain conclusion of confidence.
I know that I’ll always have those who love me, unconditionally, showing up for me, even if I don’t know where I stand. That isn’t as obvious as it seems, let me tell you. (Leaves the mystery in the air 😛 )
I know there will always be more, but I’m okay with not knowing what it is.
I revel in the imperfections, that seem better than a perfect notion. It makes living real and human.
And yes, there is more to discover. Tonight, a fuzzy head cold and a wracking cough permit me to tell you of just these. Thank you, in anticipation of your wishes, for me to get better.
Love and Light to you all.
6 September, 2023, Day#6 of #SeptemberMusings
A Quest on Overdrive ... :) 