A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


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The Bees’ Knees

That is, quite enquivocally, what you are, to me, and a whole lot of others. 🙂 Who? We’ll come to that soon enough 😀 That is the way of this blog, and rambler. Together, they kind of mess up your reading skills 😛

I first heard this expression at a workshop in Kochi, where the resource person was an Englishman, a Prof. Richard Something or Other (do excuse me for not being able to recall – I hate that about myself :/ ), conducted by the ABS – Association of British Scholars (??? I think 🙂 ) in association with the British Council, I do recall. We, the thirty plus number of participants, were given a worksheet with several expressions in English, many quite obscure, and vastly underused hereabouts, and were asked to match them with their meanings. Yep, teachers doing match the following. No one was able to score an excellent 😛 Go on, rejoice at how them dratted English teachers got their comeuppance from a Sahib  😛 Serves them right, no?! 😀

Errr, back to the bees’ knees. Clearly we weren’t that. But it still remains in my mind as being one of the most delightful sessions at a workshop where you had a native speaker giving you the inside stories and the inflections of language and usage. Like a bat out of hell was another that caught my fancy…. Deep sigh. 😀

Oopsie, here I go again, rambling 😀 So, ummm, where was I? Oh yes, the who/what/how about the bees’ knees. Yeah, I’m working this one to death, aren’t I? As if them bees aren’t already working enough! 😀

So, bees? Yep they’re busy alright, and give us honey. Pack a sting too! So etymology (excuse me, while I break into laughter, that perhaps only Ashwin, Arjun and I can fully appreciate, since it is part of the spelling bee mimic’s repertoire 😛 😀 ) – apparently the bee collects/stores the pollen in its knees, and we know what a good thing that is right? From the etymology (teacher in full flow, pliss to note 😛 ) it is to be understood that the bees’ knees refers to something that is wonderful, excellent, very good…. you get the drift 😛

That’s it? Okay, you probably wonder. Do you? Then you aren’t a regular here. Avoid, confuse, then cause bedlam of thoughts and words and notions, is how this rambler works, sometimes 😀 We’re not done yet, that is what I mean 🙂 I mean heck! I haven’t even begun (past 400 words now, in case you need to split from this screen 😛 )

I’ll try and make this easy. He’s the bees knees, he is. A wonderful human, which in turn takes care of everything, does it not. Who’s knee at the moment is undergoing a bit of errr…. reconstruction 😀 You see how I couldn’t not call him the bees knees? He’s known to be a laid back Bahubali (the juniors have given him that title – so that makes me, who? Sivagami! Woah! Thank you Bwoys 😀 ) , someone who’s got everyone’s back, even if his knee is put to risk. Well, he’s the Bees Knees ain’t he? Whether he’s gunning away, full throttle, or easing to an idle, and lazing, binge watching, minding his babies, the right mixture of goofy sport and firm instructions, having a blast with his friends or holding the fort at the Ship, thwacking the youngsters there, or giving them some good advice, rollicking away – through it all one word stands out, which, at one point both he and I would have pooh-poohed 😛 Workaholic? Ask him and he’d certainly deny it, but I know that that is the perception, at least among quite a few.

And of course, as he has said, the secret of him being that way? “Chicken” he answered recently 😀 Whatever, it be, I know that he is the one Sane and Sensible voice in our rather zany family, though he too can collapse into bedlam at any given point! It’s been quite a year, altogether, from last year 🙂 He’s got another lovely daughter, Naira, a more articulate elder daughter, Naina, a beautiful gorgeous partner, Parukutty, and the love of good friends and family 🙂 Apart from a torn ACL, left knee (basketball match ), which had to be reconstructed 🙂 He’s got some much needed rest, and is still to recover completely. However, does that stop him being AWESOME? 😀 😀 😛

Nothing ever will, for this unstoppable offspring o’mine!

Happy day, I know it was, Arjun! Wishing you health, happiness, much more joy that your heart can hold, warm giggles with your girls, and great great times, where you’re headed! Love you to bits!

These are pictures from an early birthday celebration, as he goes in for his review for his knee 🙂

12 April, 2018, Arjun’s birthday 🙂

More from the previous years, here 🙂

2017

2016
2015
2014
2013
2012
2011, and this 2011 again!
2010
And more if you just click HERE 🙂

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Oh Mahnnn…

she exclaims, quite unconsciously, this being her constant epithet, when something does not go the way she wants it. The first time I heard it, a couple of weeks ago, I did a double take, and hesitantly asked her parents about what she has seen/heard, for her to use this danged expression. I was wondering at that point, if it would lead to less desirable expressions that her peers and she would find easy to absorb. Yep, typical overbearing elder mode here 😀 I was assured that whatever she watches/hears is supervised. And then a while later, that same day, she invited me to watch one of her favourite videos with her. It dawned on me then, YouTube Kids has quite a few of these videos where the girls talking seem to use this a lot. A lot. And that is how it crept into her expression 🙂

(Long long post alert* 🙂 )

And that is simple one part of it all.

Over the past four years, this rambler continues to be awed by this girl. The one who owns her heart as no one else has, or ever can, I know. It’s like me dear Meggie (LINK to her blog) says of how your first born will always hold the lion’s share of your affection; the first grandchild will also be the one who will always have you open-mouthed, in awe, at the way that tiny being keeps making you proud, and simple grows the love within you, in ways you think is beyond you. 🙂

So is it with mine. She does, all the time. Naina. My Kurumbiiii… The one I can talk to, endlessly, the one with whom I’m the child almost all the time, the one who I even quarrel with, with her asking me at the end of it, Ammumma, you don’t like me? – and me saying, Whaaat? I’ll always love you my darling! Because that is the fact!

Oh Mahnnn, I want to say, how can I not?! The best part here being that I can say that and she will understand! At two years, she joined the pre school they have, next door, and she was the littlest girl in the school itself (the admissions are given once they turn two. And they are admitted to the play school on 1 April. So One has to be two to join. She turned two on 28 March, a couple of years ago, and was just in time to join. I was extremely hesitant, and wondered how this wee mite would even spend the two hours she was to, without being traumatised. I mean, she could talk but her speech was yet to be clear and articulate! But given her cheerful and upbeat nature, she quickly took to school and its routine easily and went on to become quite at home there. All thanks to her first teacher, and the helpers there – Sheetal Aunty as she was known, and the “Amma”s there. The previous blogs for her, (ONE, TWO, THREE 🙂 – Links at the end of this piece – if you do get to the end of it 🙂 ) all have mentioned her ability to be the ray of sunshine wherever she goes. She is after all an Aries born, just like her father 🙂 my Sun Child! 

When school started, I wondered if her ability to communicate in English, which she has acquired by way of exposure to some delightful movies, the books she has read to her by her parents, and her funny grandmother, 😛 , would kind of be lost in the acquisition of other languages, primarily Hindi, because that is what most of the kids communicate in, when the class is comprised of children from different language backgrounds. But thankfully, she has maintained that level she acquired! No mean feat 🙂 And that amazes me, even now 🙂

I’ve been here with her for the last two weeks plus, and each day I continue to admire something more about her, the way she articulates. Oh Mahnn is what I want to say, while conversing with her. Bath times are the best, after play times, of course. Bath times take a long time too. You must realize that taking a bath is serious business, and mostly, for her it’s a communal thing.

Naina, lets go take a bath!

Ohhkaaeeiii Ammumma, let me get my bath toys.

No , no, there isn’t much time today! We’ve got to be quick. 

Ammumma, that’s not fair! My ponies have been waiting to join me!

Ammumma gives in, DUH! So we visit her toy room (it’s practically a toy godown now!) and figure who the lucky ones are. Once she’s got them, we get to the bath basics. Dunk them in water, all the while talking to them, for them, among  them, and to Ammumma in between 😛 There is never a break in the flow of the conversation, which is fast paced, fluent, and in EnglishOh Mahnnn I think! So these friends of hers are diving, swimming, jumping from bucket to mug and back again, splashing, flying… and talking ALL THE TIME!  When the Ammumma is sure that ALL of them are likely to catch cold with the amount of time being wet is considered, she orders them… oopsie, HER out. So one by one each of them staggers out from the bucket to the mug. Except one. (This happens EVERY single time! 😀 )

But Ammumma, Flutter fly is being naughty today!

Fffllllutter who? What? 

Ammumma, Flutter Fly, she doesn’t want to come out of the bucket!

Ammumma is getting impatient; she’s half wet already, her grandottie is completely wet, even her hair, and the chances of catching cold alarmingly rise, but she has to let Flutter Fly  decide she needs to come out 😛

Ammumma, Flutter Fly isn’t behaving herself!

Tell me, dear readers, how does one deal tactfully with that, and being awed by the proper use of words by this wee delight? 😀

Ammumma decided to reprimand the said pony, and sternly tells her that she won’t be allowed to join Naina’s bathtime EVER again!

Oh Please! Ammumma, I’ll jump out, I pwomise! This was in a high pitched Pony-voice  😀

On the way out, Naina jumps to the said pony’s defence and says Ammumma Flutter Fly is ‘kaared of you (consonant clusters are still a difficult area for the grandottie 😀 ), you ‘ckolded  her!  It’s not fair!

Ammumma gives up! This is bathtime. Each day, a different motley group of ‘friends’ join in, and there is ALWAYS ONE being that is naughty and will NOT jump out of the bucket! But yes, I don’t think there s anything the Ammumma Monkey can do about it 🙂

She has these ‘knock knock’ sessions too, when she comes in as a Salon Lady, the Furniture Person, a Doctor, and makes house calls. We are to join in the conversation. At the end if we were to giggle, oh my, Oh Mahnn , we’re in for it! It’s NOT funny! She fumes! 

And her puh-tend games, oh my oh my! I’m just puh-tending Ammumma is a favourite escape route for many a mischief she plays 😀

She’s curious, and if she hears a new word, she won’t let you be, till you explain it to her. The other day I remarked that she was observant. She asked. I said she noticed things, details, and spoke about them. Soon, that became part of her register 🙂

I love how I can conduct a ‘gwon up’ conversation with her, and make sense of it, both to her and myself. Oh Mahnnn I tell myself, she’s such an articulate soul already!

I worry too, about how she might not be understood, or make herself understood to others, the kids, maybe, the teacher, others like her Naani, who would find it difficult to follow English. But she had that covered too. With her less fluent Hindi 🙂 She knows to who she can speak in which language for optimum communication. I know you’ll wonder why I’m so chuffed about this ,when, probably, most kids can do so… I am so, precisely because most kids I’ve been around, as adorable as they are, do find this aspect a bit difficult. Yes, she has them strong linguistic genes, as I mentioned in last year’s blog, but with it she knows how to use it optimally too! That is a wee bit of maturity along with ability, wouldn’t you say?

And then to top it all, she goes right back to being the kiddish kid she is, not the gwon up I sometimes wonder she could be 😛 And she asks for ‘godi” – or to be carried. And I heave a sigh of relief 🙂

This past year, she became an elder sister, and while she still wants attention, she knows the little one does too, and helps much, so much with giving her that. Naira is as much her baby 🙂

The other day, she carried one of her toys around, and told her mother that she, the toy, had a baby in her tummy 😀 She also said she’s going to get the baby out by making a C on her tummy and getting it out 🙂 Another of those little videos for kids she’s seen. I am certainly looking forward to questions on how babies got to get placed inside the tummy and what answers we might have to give 😀 In fact she’s already decided that only Mummys get to have babies in the tummy, and not daddys, though her daddy might be an exception 😀 Intriguing, most certainly, this is!

So, Malayalam? I know a lot of you might wonder at that. Well at the moment, she knows ‘adi’. Workable knowledge like that is enough. Because finally, it’s all about being able to communicate, right? She’s got that pat 😛

Each time, each birthday, when I feel my heart is filled with love that it might fair burst, I find a capacity for more. She’s entirely responsible for that.

For keeping the child within alive.

For letting me know that sometimes puh-tending also is just fine 🙂

For never ever giving up on those that don’t behave!

For telling me that talking talking talking is the way to do things 🙂

For helping me understand that my framework of expectations needs to be set aside, and we can frame the rules, as we go along 🙂

For still loving me, with that supreme knowledge that I love her as much, if not more 🙂

For helping me appreciate my own offspring better, and understanding that a lot of things I got wrong, they;re doing right, by their kids.

That redemption, finally, is what your grandchildren give you.

She gives me that. I know I can’t have been all that bad, when I wake to her smile, and hold her close, as she sleeps, trustingly, in my arms.

She keeps me sane, that’s what she does. In a world gone crazy, she’s the brightness, and the cool shadows too… to rest this heart 🙂

She’s four already, today 🙂

Happy Birthday, my dearest darling Naina! You make our world immensely enchanting, you, you, you… 4 sometimes going on 14 m-m-m-millenial 😛

I love you, gurl! ❤

This is one of the videos I saw her watching, with much concentration, and interest. The best part is, she follows each of these conversations, and her articulation is very close.

28 March, 2018
Naina’s four ❤

PS The Grandparent Manual essentials, discussed in her Blog, when she turned TWO, still hold good, even if wee Naira has made an appearance 😀

Her Birthday Blogs are here 🙂

ONE-2015 (LINK)
TWO-2016 (LINK)
THREE-2017 (LINK)

Nearly 2000 words! 🙂


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Five Star

…rating? Place? Whaaat? As always, the rambler here (she always talks of herself first, pliss to note 😛 ) has a round about way of putting things across, as she thinks she’s being entertaining, letting you in on rather unconnected rambling (is there any other kind? 😀 ) and then triumphantly telling you, see, see? This is where we were headed, all along!! Yeah, I know. She’s weird. Wacky too. And now that she’s talking of herself in the third person, she’s fit to be certified too. She is. 😀

It’s a five star day, a five star occasion, and more….for a couple who transcend all this in terms of who they are, their shining selves 🙂 Ahem. Now you’re wondering (actually, you know already, but you’re willing to give this rambler a long long rope to …. anchor you? 😛 ) who these paragons of everything could be? I’ll let you think a while longer,while I go on to telling you some more. (No, not of me, or my meandering intentions! That’s the surest way to lose a reader here 😀 )

Stars. While on the topic of stars, I must tell you of the link I came across, thanks to Rashmee’s share of the same. I love the Orion Constellation (mainly because that’s the only one I can figure out 😀 ) and finding Orion in the headline of that link, was a sure draw… apparently, the Orion Belt is a place where several baby stars are forming, and being sent out 🙂 Such a delightful picture no? So appropriate here too… 🙂 But, yes, as you want to remind me, that’s out there in Space, the Final Frontier (heh heh heh … the insane tripe here simply does not let up, no? I’m having a ball, even though it’s at the expense of the reader… very costly for a blogger, who rarely blogs, and has a small amount of readers, right now, but then, remember? Weird, wacky? 😛 ).

There’s this notion that’s been around in me head, about how there are universes in us, around us (duh) – and we create them too. The breadth of this thought, quite covers everything, as cliched as it is, and any post on it would be verbal diarrhoea, So, I shall restrain myself, for this post is about stars, five stars, and stardust and faery fancies too!

Onward to the darling two, and the Star Rating on them 🙂 Five stars, is the standard, more or less, for the perfection, excellence, quality…. yada yada, ain’t it? We’ve never gone by the levels set by others, have we, as a family? So why this now? Bas, sometimes, there is this worthwhile, nice, round number, five, and stars, to boot, and it fits, the boot and the name, to the occasion, so yeah, let’s, I decided 😀 (Puns galore, Chots!!! 😀 )

1

So here goes, the reasons I know you two are ⇑⇑⇑⇑⇑⇑⇑ them stars up there… 🙂

  • For you two, separately, and together, you’re gold, and stars, in our lives, you are! Precious, precious… even though I’m reminded of the dialogue from “The Lion King”, between Pumba and Timon. Timon’s words, actually 😛 😀 *giggling away*
  • For the love you have for us!
  • For the sheer amount of work you do… out there, at least … hehehe! JK 😀
  • For the dreams you hold precious, and work slowly and sure, towards them 🙂
  • For all those times you take care, of us 🙂 Of each other, the bestest way you know!

And most of all, for who you are, to each other, every single moment! Enriching each other,  carrying each other, when needed, on the roads you journey; for the love that shines out from your eyes, your whole selves; for having each other’s backs, for all that you ARE. You are, and that’s all there is to that!

Happy fifth anniversary, Neeti and Ashwin, my baby bachchaas ❤ ❤

You are stardust, precious, magical entities, who wreak love into our lives 🙂 Stay so, just so, always!

And here’s the song dedications to both of you, this time, and I see you singing this to each other 🙂 Part of the list of my favourite songs, both of them 🙂 For my precious Five Star Couple!!!

 

 

This is you two, to each other… ❤ 

 

Love you, endlessly, infinitely, absolutely! Wishes and love from all of your loved ones too!

Over the years, this blog has celebrated them, in the links given below 🙂 Click on the year and be taken to that year 🙂

2017

2016 

2015

2014

14 January, 2018

First post on this blog this year ❤


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The Thorough Gentleman

Alert: Almost 2400 words, so. 🙂

As chauvinistic as the title may seem, this is about someone who was anything but. Chauvinistic, I mean. (though of course, it will be another thesis here, as to why the title could be considered chauvinistic- but, no, this rambler is determined to be on track here!)

As a lad, as all young children do, really, he had to markings, forewarnings as it were, as to his greatness in the “gentlemanly” role he was to play. He was, like all boisterous boys, sprightly, lanky, thin, to the point of being a despair to his mom, and, as all mischievous kids do, loved to eat mud, scrape the wall paint off, that too, with his teeth! You’d never guess, too, that he was adopted. He was more family, than the other kids 🙂 – loved, cherished, adored, by others who knew him as well.

As the other kids before him, he was at once goofy, yet he bore a regal bearing, a steady stance, all done in by that goofy grin, so integral to who he was!

That’s Appu, our Appu.

The pictures, clockwise 🙂
From Top left: That was when Ashwin held a stone just above his mobile camera 🙂 Look at his concentration.; Appu in the Kulam, and look at the frisbee 🙂 ; The Gentlemanly pose, undermined by that stone in his mouth 🙂 ; I told you “mine mine mine mine” – all four of them, at Biscuit time 🙂 That would be Kuttan at the far end, then his momma, Paru, then the Black Beauty, Chinnu, and then Appu, with their Amma 🙂 ; And then there is his concentration on that dratted stone again 🙂 🙂 

He came home to us, in 2005, in the month of May, after we bid final goodbye to our other Alsatian, a gentle girl,  elfin, charming, wonderful soul, Ammini (LINK) As mentioned in that blog for her, she had a sort of OCD – she needed to ALWAYS have ball, a Frisbee, a something with her, as a pacifier, of sorts. Serendipity, maybe (yes, I am in Love with that word, to a point of being in relationship with it 😀 ) but Appu had the same, the very SAME trait, except that he would chew on it, and it extended to things like a chewed off stick, a stone, misshapen pieces of things. The fierce concentration on his face while you held the object to throw to him was a sight to behold.

I remember our first meeting, bringing him home from that kennel, settling him in. Memories rush in with these words. It had been barely a month or so, since Ammini had gone to Pets Paradise, and my mother was still recovering from that loss. She wanted to care for another again, and suggested a “boy” this time, feeling he would be less susceptible to ailments that came to the girls, as Ammini had had a cardiac arrest at 6 years, something related to her gender. However, mummy couldn’t have been more far from the truth.

Appu, the moment I laid eyes on him, that dusky evening in that kennel, I knew he was coming home to stay. Scrawny, all arms and legs, tall for his age, he stayed at the far end of his pen and looked on with liquid eyes. It seemed to me at that point, he needed much love and care, for there was an air of neglect about him, and the poignant feeling from more than 11 years ago to that day, still haunts. We lost no time in grabbing him, Ashwin and I, and taking him home, almost immediately. The change in him was almost instant, like he recognized long lost family, which I’m sure is what happened. At home, in an instant, he was all over place, even making advances on our 2 year old beauty, our darling Chinnu, who suddenly became coy and sprightly, for him 😛 (LINK) The rest is history, cliché though it be, for us. Not him, the story 🙂 You shall not be spared the history, of course 🙂

He grew, flourished, and seemed in so many ways, like our precious Ammini, not as gregarious perhaps in the initial days, having a more pedantic penchant for the pensive. Poetic, ain’t that! He’d be most animated when taken for a walk (which dog isn’t!!!) or maybe throw him his ball, Frisbee, or a stone, something, anything, or maybe to take a dip in the pond 🙂 along with Chinnu. A couple of weeks, the first two with us, he spent at my home, and then to his permanent home we went, my parents’ – where he was undisputed Lord of all he surveyed for the next almost 12 years. He, like all our kids, loved to travel, and along with Chinnu they made a great team. But wait.

When he was almost a year old, Paru joined the gang. 250781_4104330176467_1960399793_n  She must have been maybe 2 or 3 months, and was abandoned outside my parents’ home. A “nadan”, nondescript, except to us she was endowed with much grace, beauty and downright friskiness, and song, oh my!! What song!! 🙂 With great trepidation, I brought her home, wondering just how long it would take a hulking 1 year old Alsatian to snap her neck. The damnedest thing happened. He merely sniffed her thoroughly, checked her out, and then she followed him, EVER AFTER. She’d sleep, that impossible tiny bundle, between his paws, be ALL over him, playing, nipping at him, and they’ve remained best friends right through. That was in 2006. So our family grew, the kids were now 3 – my Chinnu, Appu and Paru. Officially, Appu and Paru “belonged” to my parents, but really, they are ALL mine. (remember those gulls in “Finding Nemo”?)

At the end of 2006, 26 December, the 2nd anniversary of the deadly tsunami that struck the east coast, in India, there was a minor tsunami of pups in my home. Paru’s. Seven to be precise. I’m quite positive that Appu was the dad, though we’ve not been able to really confirm, since most of the pups took after their mother, especially the fur and tails 😀 However heartbreaking it was, I had to give away her babies, once they had been weaned, except her alpha male, Kuttan who is still with me 🙂 He’s my baby more than he could ever be hers. So, the family grew again, two at my place, Chinnu and Kuttan, Appu and Paru, at theirs. The girls by now had been spayed to avoid further mishaps 😛

Appu, right through it, was pretty good with the kids when they were young, which is probably why I consider him their dad. However, with Kuttan, there has always been an ego clash of sorts. Like Ashwin once said, he’s like that kid who found out pretty late that his dad had not done right by his mother, so he carries that anger in him! Cripes! Yep, you guessed right. We, as a whole, attribute extremely human reasoning even to them. Heck! We’re right too, always. Told ya, we are one heck of a family! What I’m getting at is, growing up together, the almost 2 years older dad, and his (Alleged) son, Kuttan, always led to confrontations, testosterone displays, and there’d always be a need for referees, not to mention active, get-into-the-fight-and-separate-them occasions. Appu was far more powerful, and Kuttan was no less tenacious. Dynamite, on a short fuse, that was the situation till recently, ever since Kuttan sobered down, and “grew up” 🙂 Appu, all through, except in these confrontations, was the thorough gentleman, with the ladies, with us, with visitors, with anyone, except some stranger, who he discriminated, strangely enough!

When he was about 6 years old he developed the usual skin problems that affect his breed, as they are not really suited to the humid environs of Kerala. Since then, he had been a constant visitor at the Vet Hospital, attached to the Uni here. He’d improve well, then a few months later, it being a fungal condition and subject to weather changes, he would be afflicted again. My mother diligently, and with such devotion nursed him through it all. His hair would be all over the place; the ear infection, a consequence of the skin problem, which would aggravate with alarming regularity, despite the best medical attention, auroscopy, regular cleaning, that would have a discharge and foul smell sometimes were taken in our stride, and he was never banished from the house. He owned it, and us, no matter how he was. Once I remember the panic call mummy made, early morning. It was about his ear bleeding. They live about an hour and half away, but they got here quick and we got him to hospital to discover that is was a maggot infestation, in his ear, and that is why he bled so much. The process of getting him better was a constant, but he held up so well, with such composure and a stoic demeanour all through. He would have associated the hospital with much pain, but there was never any hesitation in going there, though it was always a tough time, holding him down. According to the intensity of attention required, he needed to be sedated, on occasion. Imagine your ear being subject to the kind of cleaning it needed. I must, at this point, commend the doctors and students at the hospital for their vocation, their dedication and their unconditional help, on all the occasions we’ve been there. Exemplary, they were.

The infection took its toll on him. Though he remained cheerful, playful, and ever ready to fetch, his legs began to give way, and he had another major maggot infestation, this time on the left side near his ribs. He was given an anti-parasitic which almost paralyzed him, and yet again, we rushed to the Vet hospital with him. It is nothing short of a miracle, his recovery. It took him nearly two days, to walk again, but he did, and this too, had passed for him. That time, we even considered euthanizing him in case he was going to be paralyzed. It was heartbreaking to see him so still. So he flourished. That was nearly two years ago.

This year, from over two months ago, the old ear infection reared its ugly head, this time robbing him of his hearing. He responded to signals, so beautifully, so beautifully that one wondered why he needed the danged sounds at all. But he was weaker, the skin condition far worse, despite the best kind of care, brushing, medication, bathing, anything mummy could do. Till that day on 30 October, 2016. The three days prior to it, he along with Paru and Kuttan were being cared for by my parents’ help, who loved these kids as we do, as we had to attend my niece’s wedding. The call came, on the evening of the wedding, that he, yet again, had a severe wound on his leg. Maggots. Couldn’t get up. Can’t hear.

It was time for the decision. All the more since my mother was also suffering along with him. We were, all of us, watching him hurt, shake his head, fumble while walking, and all the while, ALL the while, holding a stone in his mouth, or maybe a scrap of his Frisbee, or a stick, something. OCD, remember? Just like Ammini.

So we decided. We’d help him onwards to be with Chinnu, who’d been gone three years already, to be with Ammini, gone 11 years, and Malu, and Kunji, our cats… It was time for him, and we’d help him. So with the medicine provided by a vet my brother knew, my mother and I went on, as no one else could. A Sunday. No vet. Appu had to be patted awake, for he did not hear the wild, ecstatic barking of the mother-son duo greeting us.

All the way down, there was this lump that grew and grew, choking all sense except the focus on purpose. So once he was patted, petted, fed, along with the other, who were sent into the house, we lay him down near his favourite spot in the front compound. He lay, quiet, but sensing something, so my mother had to hold his head, and our help his feet. I administered the injection. I could not let anyone else take that away from me. Even though, forevermore, I would remember; I do wonder at the strength, that comes with its attendant guilt, on how I could play God. Did I do the right thing? I’ve asked myself and still do, with a regularity, as involuntary as breathing, but yes, I’ve finally learned the answer does not matter. What matters is that he found a way out of his pain. In the few seconds it took for him to sleep.

I lay beside him, Lay my head on his side, only to be fascinated by his heartbeat. How it grew, then softened, whisper soft, till he was at peace. A few seconds. But those beats will stay with me, till mine go with his. That much I know.

When Chinnu went onwards on angel wings to Pets Paradise, I could write, almost in a day, for her. With Appu the dam was firm and strong, welling up with more words each day, each heavier, laden with a million memories, delightful ones, each of them, till that last beat of his heart, whisper-soft and tear-drop heavy. Yesterday, it was a month, and it hit me, then. Suddenly, there he was, as he always is, in my sleep, his heart-beat is the rhythm that rocks me to sleep or drums me awake sometimes. This time he was there, so clear, in front, asking for his stone to be picked up and thrown.

Appu. I heard myself. And he wagged his tail, liquid eyes up, then fiercely down, on that stone, that I picked up and threw, with him bounding after… Away, away, happy puppy that he was deep down inside.

Appu. You understand, I know. You’re happy, I know. I won’t say sorry, my Appoosseee. Not now, not anymore. I can’t, can I? Not when you’re in peace, and not when you’ve lived such a loving and happy life, and given us so so so much of love and joy! I know we’ll meet up at the Rainbow Bridge, and in another lifetime.

We’re family. We’ll always be. You’ll always be mine ❤

Appu, The Thorough Gentleman
(January 2005 to 30 October 2016)

WhatsApp Image 2016-10-30 at 1.06.39 PM.jpeg

 

***

This, from my Meggie, made it much easier.

poem-for-appu

Sigh. It did make things better

1 December, 2016


2 Comments

Soar

As that dream you’ve always had!
Amazing us all, 
Articulating your deepest desires… 🙂

Secured to the bonds that 
Scaffold, in certain faith
Serene knowing we’re your safety net!

High, as high as you want
Happy, hearty, in all good humour
Here… we’ll always be, for you, Just For You!

With confidence, knowing all the time, you’re a
Winner in life, 
Working to make what you love to do!

Into a love that holds you spellbound
Inspiring always, with your 
Innate goodness, and goofiness 😛

Navigating the skies of opportunities
Negotiating each twist, turn and tack
Nattily, neatly, and with elan, as you always do!!!

Dearest Ashwin

The above is an acrostic in tercets, just to show you how your still-nerdy-hatke mom will never learn the basics of simple things, like simply saying, Dearest Ashwin, Happy wala birthday, Kunjunni ❤ but she will the go whole hog and cook up a potpourri of crazy, wacky ideas, that actually come together in an insane but joyful way. Sounds just like your mad mom, no?

Well, this isn’t about her, but you, this day, when you are at this place in life when you’ve cleared the runway for the flight… on a different course in life! The nestling you had been is a sure and certain ace pilot of life, learning each day new skills and newer ways to make life as good as it gets! One thing I know you shall keep doing is this… learn, learn and learn some more 🙂 It’s in your DNA – no escape – not that you want to either 😛

So, my darling Lion, here goes… (yes, yes, yes, it has started… but there is something so compulsive about a cliché, that I keep going back to 😛 )

851423254_22834

A prayer, a wish, a song in my heart for you-
To soar, as that joyful bird
To sing, in wild abandon of love
To laugh at life in silliness and gaiety
To stop a while, smell the grass,
To be thankful for all you have
To be inspired by who you are
To always be able to converse with your loved ones
To run, or sit, or lie down

in the sure and certain knowledge that we’ve got you, we’ve got your back, and are always, always there for you!

Soar, my dear one. Roar, with joy too! Have the best one ever ❤ ❤

Happy birthday, Ash 🙂 My bachcha! This song – it says a lot I’d love to! Well Coldplay is going to do it on my behalf! Imagine aaaa! 😛

 

 

Loads and loads of Love, always
Amma ❤

P.S. That latest black and white pic. challenge – Navmi says you look “quite a bit” like me 😀 😀 That makes my day, as it does yours too, I hope! 😛

For 3 August, 2016

Psst. Glossary – in case you’re too lazy to google 😛

tercet-a set or group of three lines of verse rhyming together or connected by rhyme with an adjacent triplet (mine does not rhyme 😛 )

acrostic-An acrostic is a poem (or other form of writing) in which the first letter (or syllable, or word) of each line (or paragraph, or other recurring feature in the text) spells out a word or a message. (Your name is the acrostic, dear Ashwin, in one short of  the seven colours of a rainbow, supposedly  😛 )

Birthday Blog Tradition posts for Ashwin, over the years from 2009 :

2009

2010

2011

2012

2013

2014

2015