A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


3 Comments

Renewal

(This one’s a sequel, if you wish. A write prompted by a dear reader’s “:(” and a “Whyyyy”! Yep. This rambler is certified… 🙂 And so, this came to be. Unbeknownst 🙂 )

Renewal (a sequel to Redemption)

(or, What were the Odds!)

She stumbled out of the slowly brightening hall. The credits had rolled out, a smattering of applause gathered momentum, and by the time she’d reached the exit, everyone was standing.

She paused at the door, turned, raised her hands and applauded. She saw him, at the end of the aisle, his parents beside him, Raksha behind. That endearing smile lit his face. She blew him a kiss, which he wouldn’t see anyway, and slipped out. The lobby was deserted. His favourite, this theatre used to be, from school, she remembered.

Glad and sad, she made her way outside, called an auto and fled before the others came. Straight to her hotel. She was booked for the early morning flight. Her goodbyes were done – even though he’d asked for her company at the post-screening informal do he’d arranged. She’d made non-committal noises but had already decided. He knew of course. He couldn’t not.

She was packed. With nothing but her thoughts for company – she felt undone, claustrophobic. Quickly changing into jeans, shirt and sneakers, she fled once again, this time to the park, where they had first met. A couple of introverts who somehow found the courage to smile at each other and talk. She had been in the city as a resource person for a couple of workshops on creative writing. Serendipity, it had to be, that he had been part of a group she worked with. What were the odds, she mused, that a decade on they’d remained friends; more than that, in the least clichéd way.

She’s watched, seen him grow, in confidence, find focus, despite the way life shattered pyrotechnically around him. As it had been for her as well. To have the luxury of owning yourself – with no lien of love, of another’s heart, was at once a tragedy as it was satisfying. She knew that wasn’t her state of being, but she was working towards it.

She walked past the park, to the road that bordered the sea. This was his favourite place. He’d mentioned it often, of taking her there, but it had never happened. Distances, physical distances, the obligation to life, to family, meant it hadn’t been possible. It was pretty much a miracle that they’d even been in touch over the years, and stayed close – mirrored thoughts, hopes, hearts even – both being in hopeless relationships with entirely different people! What were the odds, indeed! She smiled. Found a spot, relatively free, and watched the ocean, perched on the built up wall, with the rocks stretching beyond to meet the waves.

The ebb and surge, the gurgling, the splashing, that constant, hypnotic hum of the waves…she lost herself in it. She wasn’t sure how much time had elapsed, but she was at peace. She held her backpack on her lap, arms wrapped around it, chin resting on top of it. Wispy tendrils framed her face, her tired eyes at peace. The silence, despite the sounds around her, was tangible; almost as if she’d created a bubble of stillness around her.

A bubble of stillness, in which she sat, with that faraway look. These were his thoughts, as he stood a few feet away, watching intently, a warm smile in his eyes, a sigh of relief hovering, unreleased. He continued to stand, and watch- in a stance akin to communion, a prayer. He did so, knowing her to be oblivious even to the night, so alive around her bubble of solitude.

Uncharacteristically, he was lost for words. He did not want to impinge upon her peace, though he longed to smoothen her hair, those wispy tendrils, rest his hands on her shoulders and drop a kiss on the top of her head. A surge of love rushed, and overwhelmed him. With sudden clarity, he recognized it for what it was. What were the odds! It was as if her thoughts had sneaked into his.

In the three hours, post screening, he’d smiled and talked, and been a quiet, but genial host, receiving with gratitude the kind and fulsome words of appreciation. As soon as he was able, he’d beat a hasty retreat, knowing a sense of loss. Of someone. Raksha was beside herself with joy. He was glad for that – that was truly redemption – the dream they had had, had now come to fruition. Honestly the credit went to her, her indefatigable spirit in pushing him. As co-author and instigator, he made sure she’d shared all the credit, in large, bold letters and presence. Yes, he loved her, and would always do so. But her hold on him seemed to diminish, now that he was on the road to forgiveness, to himself. She got that dream of hers, made him work towards his, and now had a foothold for further progress. A certain peace flooded him, lightening his ever heavy heart, filling a vacuum carried too long.

At the same time, his palm tingled with reminiscent warmth. It was the first time she’d reached out in public to hold his hand, even though they were not the hand-holding type. His lips quirked into a grin, as he felt that familiar sense of security, whenever he thought of her. His rock of Gibraltar, that was what she’d been all along. If there was one thing she’d brought back to his life, it was laughter and trust.

He wouldn’t find that elsewhere. It was something he needed, right now.

She wasn’t at her hotel. Her cell phone was switched off. On a chance, he decided to go to the park. Nothing. There was only one place he found solace in all those troubled times. The shoreline. He decided to walk it down, and reaching, began to slowly savour the throbbing life this place always lent to his weary heart. As he walked, he felt that faint prickling at the back of his neck – seriously, it was such a dramatic moment that he nearly laughed out loud, involuntarily.

All those times they’d talked about this, that instinctive knowing, a gut feeling – all that played back, and he knew now what she meant. She was near. As incredible as it was, he simply knew it for real. Walking on, he found her bunched up, chin on backpack resting on her lap. She’d changed into the casual clothes she loved so much.

He stepped up to her, and did just exactly what he’d thought he would. Smoothened her hair, dropped his hands to her shoulders, and dropped a kiss on her head. Sat beside her.

She sighed. Smiled. Leaned into his shoulders, as he put an arm around her shoulders and tucked her head under his chin. This moment was theirs alone. His arm tightened as she snuggled close. He’d tell her, soon, how those demons would never again bother him much. If she’d stay.

She thought. Tonight. It would happen tonight. The inevitable recognition of a soulmate. She prayed for strength to leave; he, that she’d stay. She, fierce, headstrong, independent, kind.

That chasm of yearning, yawning between them, suddenly seemed bridgeable.

22 January, 2017
One of those things, again, that simply had to be.

 

 


4 Comments

Finding that balance…

… is just another wee bit of the usual, for her, this woman, who has come into our lives, in the most loving and fairly unexpected of ways 🙂 True to her zodiac, she symbolizes the even keel of emotion, of sense, of knowing just the right words, actions, and feelings to bring to you, to her own self as well 🙂

Friends who have known her, her partner in life, my son, and her adorable daughter, Naina, quite apart from her own family, I am sure would also refer to her fiery, passionate self, but with a certain knowledge as to how she does, well ( duh, again), find the balance where many of us would tip over the edge.

Oh yes, my Arien Sun Child can get a bit too childlike, sometimes go over the top in his enthusiasm, but ever since she has come into his life, and they have become the best of themselves for each other, I must say he’s grown a bit, beyond his 11 years (that’s a private joke between the Sun Child and I 😛 )

She calms, she sweetens the air, she giggles with the naive, innocence that only someone who has that child within can bring into play 🙂 🙂 That, now, is a loaded sentence too! 🙂 With Nainu, she has been the most gracious, loving yet firm of mothers I know. How does she know so much, I wonder, when I have more or less fumbled my own way and muddled through motherhood! You know, that assured way of simply knowing that this is the way to handle that bundle of energy… she shows me each day, how it is done, how I wished I could have done it, had I a chance to go back in time 🙂

Be that as it may, I know for sure that Arjun has been the luckiest of men, to have been able to find Pratibha, the Libran, in this tale 🙂 With the Ram headed determination, he did set out to woo her, and win her hand, and I know for sure there isn’t a day he does not give thanks, even if not deliberately 🙂 🙂 😀

She celebrates her birthday today, this charming, beautiful, idealistic, gregarious young lady, the mother of my grandottie, Nainu, and partner to my Sun Child. But even without all these connections she has brought into my life, I know this is one gal I would know the instant we met, whenever, however, wherever, even without my Sun Child and their adorable daughter 🙂 That’s who she is.

She touches others with a simple honesty, an open friendliness, a gracious welcoming smile. Her laughter, her smiles cements any apprehension you might have. And her sensible demeanour will instantly put you at ease…

Happy birthday, Parukutty, my dearest dearest daughter ❤ ;  you are wished the best in life, this day, and the rest of the year. It will be memorable, and add to the grace, the bearing you carry in life; giving you challenges that you will, in your sweetness and self assurance, meet head on, giving of yourself, and being loved infinitely more each day, by each of us who know and treasure you! May you be blessed to be that lovely little girl I always see in you, the one who unhesitatingly reaches out to help, to comfort, to be there with a patient listening ear, and give me these incredibly gentle and sensible suggestions 🙂 Just as Neeti does too!

 

Happy happieeeeee birthday from all of us, Pratibha! Wishing you rainbows, and laughter, and hugs and kissess and always LOVE, always, ever and a day more… ❤ And then some!!!

As that song in The Sound of Music goes, I realize, each day, that somewhere in my youth or wicked childhood, I must have done something goooood… to have found you, and Neeti ❤

Blessed be, my dearest girl 🙂 Stay awesome 🙂

There’s a virtual gift, in this, a card, made and sent by one of my own kids, from school 🙂 You met him, when he came to visit Naina 🙂 Vivek 🙂 He sends his wishes, to his Bhabhi, 🙂 ❤

Wishing you an amazing day, with the love of your loved ones, and the companionship of your friends 🙂 Missing you so much 🙂

P.S Riddhi, your picture is being used without prior permission 🙂 I know you’ll approve 😀

14 October, 2016

 

 


11 Comments

Quatrain

They trail, most loving, fragrant feelings
As they walk this journey , arms entwined
From two to three, more of their lovely beings..
They hold each other – they are one-of-a-kind!

cropped-img_2191.jpg

(Net connection is back 😀 )

This in the morning, when no connection existed, was this limerick 😛

A blog tradition pending,
Due to net connection ending
Has prompted this early byte
For today, till I’m able my blog to sight
So to them, Pratibha and Arjun may I wish, happiness and love, unending!

p2

And now this, as I ruminate, and squeeze this in, just in time 😀

She of sunshine smiles

He – Sun child – ever the same

This Haiku – all theirs!

13576633_10206055209769165_3204472461511283326_o

And finally, an acrostic 🙂

Partial to love, pretty much the best!

Awsumm, always there, hands outstretched

Raring to go, never mind where!

(J)ust, jovial, jest-ful, ever, no matter when!

Understated never, uncomplicated, unanimously the friend who’s always there!

(N)atty, naughty, never nasty 🙂

Four poesies on this string, to tell you of her and him
Her is Pratibha, and He is Arjun
And this be the day, to cherish, to celebrate
Their wedding – a gladder, madder, fun-ner one
I’ve yet to attend 😀

May you two always be there for each other, hold each other, through all the walks of life 🙂
Sometimes A or sometimes P, lead each other on, with all the love you have 🙂

Thank you, too, endlessly, for the brightest spark in my life – my Nainu ❤

12909616_10154085566174680_6091470196865637401_o

Happieeeee Anniversary! God Bless you all, infinitely!

29 June, 2016

*does a jig* She made it, she tells herself 😛


9 Comments

Two Good

it is, I tell ya! She is, rather. The day is. Now. (Well yesterday too 😛 ) But the best, yet? Today. ❤ Read on. (Statutory Long Post Alert* 😛 )

When N=2, the probability of the combination of Love, Fun, Frolic, Energy, Enthusiasm, spikes in direct proportion two the availability of N, not two mention the proximity, and the actual date on which the value of T, which is Time, equals exactly two. How do you prove that?, asks L. L being Life. That master Teacher, problem solver (problem creator 😛 ), who is Love itself. No conundrum that, I’d say, given that the answer lies in all that the statement asks me two prove.

The magical two has arrived. And if there is one thing that does not deplete, however much you use it, it is Love. In multiplies manifold, in ways that one reads of, in fairy tales, and fictionalized slices of narratives (so they say! I know different!) So it is, most certainly, Two Good that I’m here, where the best part of my life is Two.

Two years ago, I was waiting for school two be done on 7 April, a Class 9 class teacher then, then, who later became “my” Forty-Seven  ❤ And this day, dawned with the usual pranaams and unconscious prayer I wake two, each day, two Mother Earth, a wish for goodness all around, most especially two all children, everywhere.. A moment stamped in the virtual world too, one I inhabit almost as much as I do, the real! Little did I know (they knew, but did not update me 😛 ) that the morning was momentous as well!

Screenshot 2016-03-28 04.52.33

Fast forward two about two hours, and the melee  of the school environs – the gaggle of teachers flooding the “godown” as I like two call it – the Photostat room in the lower level of the school, a part of the queue, sometimes troubleshooter for a nagging excel file detail; it’s end of term and marklists, grade sheets were being printed, the gaggle was noisy, nudging each other, waiting impatiently in line, but doing the right thing – waiting 😛 – when my mobile rang. I picked it up, seeing it was Arjun, who I presumed, would tell me that Pratibha was home, after the false alarm the night before!

Hi, all good?

Amma, a girl!

Whaaaaattttt? Already? Just a sec, let me get out of this room! Helloooo, helloooo…

Amma, amma… yes, it is a girl!

…..

There we were, connected by that wireless loop over the optic fibres, me hanging on two each vibration that told me, She’s here, already!!! Connected by this new beautiful feeling that comes when life takes you gently, wraps your soul in Love’s whispers, and lends you this miracle, and lets you feel you had a role two play in it. Life begets life, as does Love…

Oh my! Eeeeeeeeeee!!! Reallyyyyy??? Yes, I was jumping madly, spinning, throwing my one free arm in the air, pumping my fist… you get the dotty grandmom routine I did. And Arjun sagely waited it out, told me the time, till I realized he had so many more calls two make as did I!!!

I had two be there! The one overwhelming thought that came two me was dampened just as suddenly! Well, she was here, there actually, and I’d get there, soon enough. Soon soon soon… the mantra! It lent such impetus two stuff I was able two accomplish, so that I could just BE with her, hold her, wrap ourselves in that special love that comes two grandotties and their grandmoms ❤

And it all feels like it played out yesterday!

Two much no? I guess I cannot be more obvious as two where write is headed! Two years two that day, (when I made a sort of decision, two be with her on 28th March, each year, somehow, anyhow), I can tell you the answer two the statement that opens this blog for her.  Everything has spiked – heart beats, the fun, the drama, the verbal and non verbal ways we communicate, she and I, and Love, all around, two everyone!

There may be a whole host of manuals on how two parent, or even grandparent – but if you are meant two be either parent or grandparent, and want two be one, heck! No manual is necessary! Some things there are, within, that lead you onwards – and a lot of advice, outside, perhaps unwarranted, mostly from co-parents, co-grandparents 😛 – and if ever these leads come from the fount of Love, in its unconditional and pure form, you’ll never go wrong.

Amongst them this:

  • The Grandottie/grandchild shall always hold your heart in her/his palm. Carefully ❤ . Playfully
  • You shall do the same. Maybe not so playfully
  • The Grandparent at all times shall resist the urge two keep telling the grandottie’s parents what two do (this comes from the heart 😛 ) – but sometimes, the urge gets better
  • The grandmother shall always wonder at the granddottie – and wonder and wonder how the heck your kid got it right 😛 – and thank the kid and partner – and congratulate herself, of course 😛
  • The granddottie shall evermore be the best.
  • The grandmother shall never recover from being smitten. That’s for life.

So, what is this all about. If the simple fact that the grammar nazi grandmom has thrown, gleefully, two the winds, her grammar rules, and let a certain word rule this blog, you know what’s coming. You do? Et two? 😛

Let me give you that applause now, for being patient, for being here,still, if you are, and let you go in a hundred words more, or so 🙂

She’s two. I’m two twoo. She be Naina, and I be the grandmom. Last year the Family got together with friends for her – she’s hands down our Numero Uno, (LINK) who, on this day, stays there, with double the love, the charm, the loveliness, the innocence, the fun, the child-like wisdom of knowing what she wants, and how she wants it – she keeps life simple, for us too! Grows us up in ways that are as old as they are new – for we learn them with her.

12034364_10153721470564680_4930272589107687271_o

Oh yes, my darling, the universe is indeed YOURS 🙂 

  • The value of sleeping on your tummy, bottom up in the air 😛
  • The need two simply run and hug when love overwhelms
  • Two share in another’s food, and share yours as well 😀
  • Two not have two discriminate who belongs two your jaat, dharm, whatever, before you smile, reach out and sometimes hug too…
  • Two know each person who is there with you is important two you
  • Two wake each day for just this – be there, play, eat, laugh, run, smile, sleep, give those big sloppy kisses, for no reason at all, sometimes cry when you have two
  • Two live, just that, without pretence

My dearest darling Nainu, you bring such wondrous love, life and laughter two this dotty woman, this rambler, and the lives of all you touch!

May you be blessed two have this kind of Midas touch – that love seeps from the fingers, from your glance, leaks from your laughter, tingles from your tears too…

May the love of life, the love of your loved ones be the guiding star

May you always find fun lurking in every corner, behind those doors, under the chairs and tables, and may it always give you joy!

May life bless you with good health, happy moments, much glee, and an endless supply of energy (your parents too 😀 )

May you always be this lovely, inside and out ❤

I love you more each moment, my dearest Kunjikutty!

Happyyyyyyyyyyyyy …. *birthday* and again…

Happppyyyyyyyyyyyy….. ❤ Nainu ❤

Here’s a Hi5, a knuckle punch and a thumbs-up-A-ok Thumb touch too!

12898187_10154056614104680_6560012768535038865_o

Wise and wonderful – but don’t let that fool you 😀

Hugsy wugsy, love and loads of Kissessss from

Ammmooooommmaaaaaaa ❤


5 Comments

Love Looks Like This – III

78363_125773190818257_3630059_o

The grace of golden years
They wear it well 🙂

They’re the first expression of Love
The first feeling shown, lent, given,
For they are the first faces …
An umbrella, as it were
Sheltering, nurturing, sharing

Caring. Always.

Love. Daddy and Mummy ❤

29 February, 2016

Day#17 of #RamblingsInFebruary 🙂

february ramblings