A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


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A Luminous Lodestar

It’s been a year, for the stars, you and your nearly 3 weeks older cousin, hasn’t it?

A year to mark, the first of the tally-count of yearning, to simply see you.

A year, a whole year of watching you grow, gurgle, giggle, glow! A year, dearest dearest Dhruv, A YEAR!

We meet almost each day though, through smiles, songs, squeals and sillinesses. The kind that Achammas and Grandbetas make their very own, for we’re exempt, aren’t we, from keeping rules-schmooles!!!

I wish I were holding you right now, instead of sending you these word-hugs to tell you how much I love you! How much I wish…. No no, Achamma won’t just wish, she shall make it happen… She’ll sing “Just you wait ‘enry ‘iggins, Just you wait” (Pssst… Your mom and I watched it a long time ago, together, and laughed so hard – let’s watch too, sometime, with your siblings, the N gals! Naina is going to roll her eyes I know 😂)

Darling Dhruv, here’s wishing you a happy happy FIRST! And here’s my wish:

The stars in my eyes
Glow all the brighter
Because you’re YOU!

May the naughty sparkle in your eyes always shine 🤩

May the innocent smiles you give so easily, never fade!

May your gurgling laughter ever bubble
Lending wings to happinesses…

Your tiny chubby fists
Hold our hearts!

Make us breathless, make us love you all the more!

May each day be a confetti burst of all you wishes
With laughter and tears, sometimes
Smiles and sounds
Friends and family
Birds, trees and animals
Books and stories, and warm sloppy hugs and kisses
And an ever happy wagging tail
That’s Bowie’s!

May these be yours!

Stay blessed, dear one. Love.

15 June, 2021


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Dreamer-Doers

For the longest time, with this new-blog-post box open, my fingers hovered over the keyboard, the cursor blinking away inside the (new editor-layout-er, so says WP 😛 ) title box, what I would key in, and let the blog write itself. I kid you not. I obsess blog post titles, and when that title just has to come write itself, it does. I really really kid you not 😀 . When that time is right (Naadodikkattu dialogue alert – Vijayan and Dasan 😛  ) it happens, as it has today. 

This blog is part of my blog tradition, one that almost took a bashing along with a whole host of others in my wee state – but luckily it has survived, being one that actually sustains love and empowers both writer and reader to be able take more and more verbiage 😀 It all about the Family, in this one, and a special two, who, being the more practical of the lot of us, are also the Dreamer-Doer-Duo 😛 *The blogger-rambler-proud-momma pats herself on the back at the alliterative hyphenated title for them* Tee heeee 😀 

Last year they received a Five Star rating, which has risen beyond our own, heck, their own expectations! Families always expect na? We, in ours, actually did not. But then, remember what the title says Doers. That’s them. Planning, getting organized, implementing. After the dream is carefully nurtured. It’s a tough act to follow, you can bet! Nearly two hundred and fifty words on and we’re still dealing with chaff! Where’s the grain, you ask? Ahem, drum roll and all that jazz – here they are, them two 🙂 

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Ashwin, my second born, and Neeti my DIL, over the past six years ❤ 

They have been a very hatke couple, right from the word go 🙂 In these times where young people prefer to wait and watch and take it from there, to wherever, they’ve been absolutely sure of what they wanted. To be partners in every sense of the word, respecting the institution of marriage, and going right ahead, with the blessings of both families. This was six years ago… 

And each new moment, no matter what the quantity, they’ve given it their all and made it worth it, to a point where, when I listen to them speak of how things are and what is happening with them, expanding their horizons, taking up new challenges, with ease and grace, I’m not just amazed, but at times stupefied by the flow of their thoughts, their plans, their comfort being who they are! Most especially, when my son explained how he was thinking of upping his expectations, moving on to a different work place, and the reason he gave while talking to his team members and his superiors… Was this the same rather hot-headed young man I’ve watched grow up, I wondered…. And still I listened, and still the wonder grew that my wee brat had started ‘adulting’ in ways I’m still groping with and trying to figure out. What he said echoed something I read from Trevor Noah, in his book “Born a Crime” – Ash mentioned that he did not want to forgo any other experience and then wonder “What If I’d tried that” – to leave no room for regret for not trying that too! Goodness me, I wondered! And was filled with pride, not because I had in some way helped him to realize that, OH NO!! – but because he had figured it out all by himself (and with his partner, Neeti, of course 😀 ) and more importantly, he managed to articulate it with the comfort of a person who’s been doing this forever! Heck! Dang! Oh Boy!!! Yep! Nothing from me, and he rocks it! As does Neeti, who, dreamer, doer, executor of ideas, and promoter of positive ways to deal with anything life throws at you, who totaaaallllly rocks all de way!!

The regulars here (whaaat? regular? errrr…. 😛 ) know they live in the Land Down Under, and so I must beg your indulgence while I go on show-off-ing some more, by telling you how they have been figuring all this out, digging their heels in, but working out ways and managing all of them ups and downs by themselves, while I wax poetic about them from a gazillion miles away! 

They are 6, together, today and I knew, just this moment, JUST THIS VERY MOMENT, typing these words, this paragraph, that this is the perfect PERFECT song for you two, you two to each other too! 

Happy Anniversary, my dearest darling bachchas, Ash and Neeti, #NeeAsh, as Arjun has coined 😛 

Our prayers, wishes, and all our love for a happening year ahead, when dreams unfurl into the most fragrant blossoms, when plans build themselves into niches where you rest a while, find a new dream… May the light of all your brilliant dreams light the way as you do what you do, one step, one light frisky dance step, a twirl, a pointe, a dervish of desires… however you dance to those dreams, may you hold each one of those dreams, and each other in the spiral of togethernesses, bound by the softest and yet the strongest colours of Love!

I just discovered Zachary Levi, thanks to a friend on Facebook, where I had spoken of how I’m in love with The Marvellous Mrs. Maisel, who shared another song of his (I’ll add it later, just for entertainment 😀 ), and I discover that he’s the Flynn Ryder of “Tangled”! How … apt! Serendipity, nothing less! ❤

 

One more song, and I’ll make an exit, well within 1000 words! Surprise, surprise… and I thought I’d have less than a hundred 😛

I lubb ya both, with all my heart! Waiting to meet you both to give you the biggest hug ever! Mwwaaaaaah!!!!

14 January, 2019 (Again, the first blog post of this year! 🙂 )

Over the years, this blog has celebrated them, in the links given below 🙂 Click on the year and be taken to that year 🙂

2018

2017

2016 

2015

2014

 

 

 


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Five Star

…rating? Place? Whaaat? As always, the rambler here (she always talks of herself first, pliss to note 😛 ) has a round about way of putting things across, as she thinks she’s being entertaining, letting you in on rather unconnected rambling (is there any other kind? 😀 ) and then triumphantly telling you, see, see? This is where we were headed, all along!! Yeah, I know. She’s weird. Wacky too. And now that she’s talking of herself in the third person, she’s fit to be certified too. She is. 😀

It’s a five star day, a five star occasion, and more….for a couple who transcend all this in terms of who they are, their shining selves 🙂 Ahem. Now you’re wondering (actually, you know already, but you’re willing to give this rambler a long long rope to …. anchor you? 😛 ) who these paragons of everything could be? I’ll let you think a while longer,while I go on to telling you some more. (No, not of me, or my meandering intentions! That’s the surest way to lose a reader here 😀 )

Stars. While on the topic of stars, I must tell you of the link I came across, thanks to Rashmee’s share of the same. I love the Orion Constellation (mainly because that’s the only one I can figure out 😀 ) and finding Orion in the headline of that link, was a sure draw… apparently, the Orion Belt is a place where several baby stars are forming, and being sent out 🙂 Such a delightful picture no? So appropriate here too… 🙂 But, yes, as you want to remind me, that’s out there in Space, the Final Frontier (heh heh heh … the insane tripe here simply does not let up, no? I’m having a ball, even though it’s at the expense of the reader… very costly for a blogger, who rarely blogs, and has a small amount of readers, right now, but then, remember? Weird, wacky? 😛 ).

There’s this notion that’s been around in me head, about how there are universes in us, around us (duh) – and we create them too. The breadth of this thought, quite covers everything, as cliched as it is, and any post on it would be verbal diarrhoea, So, I shall restrain myself, for this post is about stars, five stars, and stardust and faery fancies too!

Onward to the darling two, and the Star Rating on them 🙂 Five stars, is the standard, more or less, for the perfection, excellence, quality…. yada yada, ain’t it? We’ve never gone by the levels set by others, have we, as a family? So why this now? Bas, sometimes, there is this worthwhile, nice, round number, five, and stars, to boot, and it fits, the boot and the name, to the occasion, so yeah, let’s, I decided 😀 (Puns galore, Chots!!! 😀 )

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So here goes, the reasons I know you two are ⇑⇑⇑⇑⇑⇑⇑ them stars up there… 🙂

  • For you two, separately, and together, you’re gold, and stars, in our lives, you are! Precious, precious… even though I’m reminded of the dialogue from “The Lion King”, between Pumba and Timon. Timon’s words, actually 😛 😀 *giggling away*
  • For the love you have for us!
  • For the sheer amount of work you do… out there, at least … hehehe! JK 😀
  • For the dreams you hold precious, and work slowly and sure, towards them 🙂
  • For all those times you take care, of us 🙂 Of each other, the bestest way you know!

And most of all, for who you are, to each other, every single moment! Enriching each other,  carrying each other, when needed, on the roads you journey; for the love that shines out from your eyes, your whole selves; for having each other’s backs, for all that you ARE. You are, and that’s all there is to that!

Happy fifth anniversary, Neeti and Ashwin, my baby bachchaas ❤ ❤

You are stardust, precious, magical entities, who wreak love into our lives 🙂 Stay so, just so, always!

And here’s the song dedications to both of you, this time, and I see you singing this to each other 🙂 Part of the list of my favourite songs, both of them 🙂 For my precious Five Star Couple!!!

 

 

This is you two, to each other… ❤ 

 

Love you, endlessly, infinitely, absolutely! Wishes and love from all of your loved ones too!

Over the years, this blog has celebrated them, in the links given below 🙂 Click on the year and be taken to that year 🙂

2017

2016 

2015

2014

14 January, 2018

First post on this blog this year ❤


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Kuttan – Alpha Everything :)

That mewling sound, that morning, at around 8.40 am, will always stay with her. Discovering him, gathering him in her palms, carefully wiping him down, before handing him over to his birth mother, who was trembling in the anxiety of just having had her first baby. The joy, the bewilderment, the miracle itself, unfolding. She and his mother, they both owned that feeling.

His mother then went on to have another six babies over the next four hours. Gently heaving, an experienced mother, by the end of it all. All the while the other mother watched helped, and was the mid-wife. 🙂 The babies were healthy, jostling and suckling her immediately. But that first one, that Alpha Male, he was already earmarked – he’d always be hers, other than his own mother’s, his Amma’s own special brat.

And so it came to be, he stayed with his Amma, and his birth mother Paru, those first three months, after which his mother, Paru, went back to Cpl, her “tharavaad” to her Ammumma (my mother), and he, the Alpha, stayed on, with is Amma, his brothers, and his older sister, Chinnu 🙂 (LINK)

 

The Menagerie*

Paru, his mother, and the seven, Kuttan I like to think is the one, flush up against her, head of the puppy pack!

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12 December, 2017

As I write this, I’m struck by this wave of emotion. A poignant nostalgia, seeing him, lifting his head from where he lies, close by, a quizzical look in his eye, as if to say, Amma, you called?

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The Alpha, my alpha everything, as you know, by this time, is my very own Kuttan. Naughty, mischievous, rambunctious, bordering on aggression, sometimes too often, needing to be cautioned, monitored and occasionally whacked 😀 a bit, he grew up, as kids who are loved deeply and unconditionally do – with supreme confidence in himself, and ready for anything!

Even in the face of dire warnings and well-meaning advice, his Amma never let him go. She never spoiled him, though it seemed like that to his Ammumz! Well, when you’ve got an awesome personality, with an edge of energy, you gotta show it, right? 😛 That’s one question that always bubbled over from his raised (invisible) eyebrow look! He even added a low growl for good effect. You don’t mess with me, was is USP, especially nights. Except his Amma, no one was tolerated within 10 m., once he’d had his dinner, and had settled down on Amma’s bed for the night.

But we’re getting ahead of the story. When his mother, Paru, returned to the ‘tharavaad’, and his siblings all found loving homes, his Amma, despite much advice against it, decided she wasn’t letting his go. He knew that he owned her, from that moment on. He did own her heart, and would do anything for her – including listening to her, to shut the eff up, when he got aggressive with the others – Chinnu, Appu, or even his mom Paru. His Amma said so, so he would. 🙂

As all young boys, he had much energy, kinetic, potential, what you name it, and expended that energy by scaling the compound wall and going off for a walk/run on his own. If he was allowed to wander on his own, in the walled in compound, or if by accident, the gates were left open, he’d be off in a shot, like a bat out of hell, particularly if there were cats in the vicinity. His racial memories had these lores of what enemies cats were, and he couldn’t help but be conditioned by it, and set about cleanly finishing the few he came across, who were no match for his lightning speed! (Wait! he must have wondered, as I do, if he had some feline blood in him to move so fast? Naah! he must have answered to him self too!!! 😛 )

Now comes the twist in the tale, if indeed he was CAT! Because, how does one explain his bonding with the cats at home?! M’mzelle Malu (LINK), Mia, her kitten?! How! That’s a question his Amma, and his family wondered… He never did though, it would seem. They, them cats, were family, weren’t they? DUH! 😛 You always got you family’s back, doncha?! You sure do! Even if they were cats! Because, here’s the thing see – the members of this family are the same – pretty much human, though some of them take the form of a cat, dog, squrrel, or occasionally as has happened, a bird or a bat!

Thus happened, the seemingly impossible. The Mellowing, the Meaowing too, to put it lamely, of The Kuttan! Mia Arrived dramatically, a rescue cat, scrawny, feisty, even though she fit into the palm of my hand when I brought her home, it was clear immediately who was boss! She had to be bottle fed, the first few weeks with me. Kuttan now had a constant companion, too, out on our long drives… Mia was as unfeline, and Kuttan was uncanine 😛 Maybe that’s one of the reasons they got along so well together! Err, did I tell you? Yes, we are a rather hatke family! 😛

Those rides with Kuttan and Mia, in my AK 47 (car, duh!) are legendary! Initially Mia travelled, protesting all the way, in a wee basket, with constant chatter from me to keep her comfy. Kuttan got the back seat, Mia up front, in her basket. In time, Mia began protesting in earnest and therefore was permitted to roam the car- she wasn’t very uncomfortable, but neither was she fully comfortable, though she accepted the rides well enough. She would roam around, plonk herself on my lap, sometimes rest her head on my shoulder, or sit behind my feet, that were on the pedals of the car. Sometimes she’d be at the window, looking out… Closed spaces and cats do not go well together 🙂

Eventually, in the nearly one and half years of to and fro travel, we decided that Mia would stay at my parents’ place since she loved the sprawling compound and open spaces there, and far safer from the stray cats that thronged my own neighbourhood in the city. I must also mention that in the intervening period, she had three kitten, and they were old enough to be on their own – in fact she had practically given my home to her kitten and became an infrequent visitor, when we planned to shift her to my parents, where she was extremely comfortable 🙂

This was nearly three years ago. Kuttan had grown more quiet, mature, and was becoming a model of good behaviour, except for the nights 😛 He and Appu, the males in the family, were constantly at logger heads, and came to actual fights many a time when they were younger, but had grown accustomed to each other, and tolerated each other better, as the years passed. In the meantime, his best friend, Chinnu, had gone ahead to pets paradise, in 2013. It was him,Mia and I, till her kittens came along.

Wiser, older, and yet his Amma’s Kuttan, that’s who he came to be. Each morning as she left for work, he’d see her off, standing by the window, and each evening he’d be up at the balcony, to greet her, with his own signature greeting… An oooooooo, OOOOOOOOO…. following by happy high pitched appealing barking 🙂 His Amma still looks up at the place, each day when she returns, and hears it, even though he remains unseen … Her heart knows , and isn’t that finally what matters?

Early this year, in the third week of February, he developed a breathing problem. He’d gasp, suddenly for breath, when he hadn’t been physically active too. It got his Amma worried enough, and so began a week long trek to the vet, as grew progressively weaker. He needed to be on drips, as he wouldn’t eat, or drink. Thinking it might have been a lung infection, all the tests were done to rule out possibilities, till the final x-ray revealed an enlarged heart which was probably pushing itself on the windpipe. Medicines were started.

Kuttan, as you know by now, wasn’t one to take being held down, or given an injection, with any kind of docility. However that week, he submitted to all the injections, the drips he needed to be given, the poking and prodding, like he’d always been such a paavam! Never a jerk, never a growl, nothing. It does not cease to amaze me, how much he’d changed and accepted that we were trying to help. However, that day, Sunday, 26 February, 2017, at the morning visit to the vet, for his drips, and his injection to reduce the enlarged condition of his heart, the students at the vet hospital, were unable to find a vein easily, on his hind leg, and it hurt him enough to react. So he was muzzled, he got panicky, started to froth, and very quickly, I removed the muzzle, calmed him down, but he lay so still, so so so still on the table, unmoving. Heart in my mouth, I tried cajoling him into responding, shook him, tried to lift him up… The doctors gathered around trying their best too. I was told to just was a few moments, since he was breathing, his heart was beating. I did, and he finally stood up, with help. Slowly he walked to the car with me, and we got home.

He still wasn’t eating. Barely drinking water, but breathing a bit easier. That morning, being tied up with some work, that was another trauma, I left him at home to complete it. He had his water, his medicines, and was resting. It took me a few hours, to get back to him, and he simply came and sat at my feet, when I returned. I remember calling my kids, and we were on a skype group call, when suddenly he came up, sat in front of the laptop for a long time, looking at the screen, where they kept calling his name, and he kept looking at them. (He never does that, I thought. He NEVER does that!) I continued with the chat, as he lay close. We finished, and then came a call from Daddy. As I was talking to him, answering his query about Kuttan, I noticed he was not at my feet, but had gone out.

Stepping outside to check, all I could do was just keep repeatedly calling out his name. He lay on the verandah, his favourite spot, at the edge, his head having fallen gently, lax, peacefrul, to touch the first step down. He’d gone on. He’d left. He’d …. just, gone. The irony of the whole thing was that he had always been the healthiest of the lot we had, hardy, dependable, never ever ill.

Gently, I lifted his head and placed it on my lap, told daddy what had happened, and asked that he arrange for someone to prepare a grave for him there, since I wanted him next to his friends, Appu and previously, Ammini, our first Alsatian, buried there. I called his favourite friend, C, my help, and she came, heartbroken to discover he’d gone. When the taxi arrived, I carried him onto the back seat, cradled his head on my lap, and kept talking to him for the two hours we took to reach my parents’ place. It was almost 9 in the night, by then. We kept Paru inside, till the next morning. But a strange mournful howl, as Kuttan was taken to his final resting place still echoes in my ear, his mother’s goodbye to him perhaps.

He’s in a better place, oh yes, he is! And what is that final goodbye, but just a liminal, I tell myself, knowing that we’d meet again, some other lifetime, after we meet at the Rainbow Bridge, that is 🙂 He’s here, with me, for as they say, those who die, are never gone, not when you carry them in your heart ❤ and see them around you, talk, as often as you can to them.

Yesterday, I watched, for the first time (I know I’ll watch that one more times yet!) “Cloud Atlas”, and was struck by some of the wisdom in the beautiful writing of that script 🙂 Like these, for each of them leads me to believe, I’ve not finished my time with Kuttan!

Our lives are not our own. we are bound to others, past and present

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This world spins from the same unseen forces that twist our hearts.

***

I believe death is only a door. One closes, and another opens. If I were to imagine heaven, I would imagine a door opening. And he would be waiting for me there.

***

I believe there is another world waiting for us, Sixsmith, a better world. And I’ll be waiting for you there.

I know he and the gang are waiting at the rainbow bridge 🙂 And that he’s happy with them, up there! It’s never goodbye, you know… for you’re always with me, Kutts!

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Kuttan of the pointy ears! 26 December, 2006- 26 February, 2017

25 December, 2017

Labour of love ❤


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These are a few of my favourite things…

… about her, this DIL ka tukda (piece of my heart 🙂 ), an awesome Virgo girl, (LINK) partner in crime to the Lion in our family 🙂 Now you know how he flourishes! All because of this young girl, and the way she’s taken him by the hand and walked beside him, having got his back, being the guiding light, the one who fixes him too, and loves with all that she has, in her heart ❤ and soul 🙂

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Yes, Ashwin, HER! Happy Birthday, Neeti!!! 

As intense as they come and as fiercely loyal as they are, this one all of that and more. My DIL, my Neetikutty, an alter ego of all my quirky self too!Be it movies, the fun ‘ideas’, and the love of books 🙂 Both of us ‘hatke‘, me more, though 🙂 She too strives hard to ensure I stay that hatke! The perfect daughter a mom could have!

I know I’ve spoken about her too, a LOT, on this space, over the years, but what you love and admire about a person ought to be said enough times, I guess, and then some! And so it is with her too…

…like you can call her at any time of day or night, and know you shall hear an answering voice, even in the dead of night. Sometimes even your best buddies don’t, can’t do that!

….when life throws a spanner at you, you kind of reel, in slow motion and yelp and curse, right? She smiles, grabs it, puts it in her tool kit, to use, for tightening a few loose nuts around her, primarily her partner’s 😛 😛

… her sense of style and being able to carry off with grace and elegance, even a homely (hehehe Neeeettiiiiiiii 😛 ) sweatshirt and pants 😛 😛 But really, she’s just plain gorgeous!

….the way she can focus on what needs to be done (yep, I can, you can too, duh! but how long do you stay with it???!! Gotcha!!! 😛 ), and does it!

…. those Time Management skills! I’ve learnt a thing or two from her, about incentivizing (the self, people, the self!!!) and actually making it work! However, I’m still a work in progress! (pun-DUH-intended!!! 😀 )

… her ability to see the big picture, and then heck! join in the fun of circumventing it! The goofiness of a good laugh, thumbing one’s noses at such things… I love that about her!

…her deep deep devotion to those she loves. I still need a few lessons that a way! I’m still learning, as we all are, I know 🙂 But you know how it is, how it comes easy to some people more, over the others? She’s one!

… her generosity of her heart, her time, her work, and yes, her bosses do tend to take advantage of it 😛 Much as that is tagged as a no-no these days, it is something just as refreshing!

This, up  here, isjust a wee bit of what makes that gorgeous, zany, passionate gal who’s my darling Daughter In Law, my DIL, an echo of my own heart – and she celebrates her birthday today!

Happy Birthday Neetikutty! You’re a goo gu’l , you are!!! (remember that awesome night we dragged down the beds onto the floor to watch Eliza Dolittle??!! It was the best!!! And yes, I am a goo gu’l too!!! ) Here’s wishing you life’s best, with love, laughter, warm sunshine, romantic rains, stunning rainbows, and all the colours and passions of life to add to the masterpiece of life you are making, as you journey onward! May the Brush strokes of the powers that be, be gentle, healing, loving and soft! Live life Quantum Size, my dearest daughter! There’s no one else I know who deserves to!

I love you, Neetikutty! God Bless, always!

 

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My fav. pic of you 🙂

30 August, 2017

More, for Neeti:

A Goo’ Gurl She Is!

The Queen of His Heart!

Here’s wishing another dil ka tukda, Keerthi Gautham on her birthday too! Another girl who makes me wonder at how these beautiful souls manage to rise above the things life throws at you, take it in their stride and march on oblivious to it! Lesser souls would pause to catch their breath, not these Amazons of the heart and spirit!

A wisp of clouds in the sky takes her fancy, and her camera’s and she brings to you the most wonderful of pictures, words and stories she creates… our girl on Cloud No. 9! Uma, (her blog is HERE!) you’re wished a wonderful day today, and the best of times ahead too! Big hug!!!

Happy Birthday, you gals, Neeti and Keerthi and Uma!! I love ya’ll!