A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


Of Quests and Crusades…

The Holy Grail of Love
Is what we’re told
To seek.

For absolution.

The ultimate
Back to completeness.
Love having filled
Empty spaces.

Well, you know
What they say
Of Holy Grails.

Of Quests,
That lead to Crusades.

Is it Holy?
Is it Love?
If you need to
Launch a Crusade?

You also begin to wonder…
How much is myth.
What is real!

At Life’s knee,
I heard this fable-
Read of it through
Words from those besotted.
Heard the whispered
Agonies and pleasures;
Tasted the flavours
From scented lips of lust.

And since then, have sought.
Have yearned. Longed.

Threw words to wind
Which might, in passing,
Fall on heeding ears;
Find a resonance
In some beating heart.

To have that word
Come back, with that heart. ❤

That’s how I knew
How I learnt.
My Holy Grail of Love.

Was I

Was I

To you.

Who caught that word
On the wind.

Caught it
Scented with
My yearning…

That fragrance
Behind my ear…

You say.

This moment.
As you hold me close
And we sip

From that sacred chalice.

Of each other’s soul.

25 to 27 July, 2017



Dreams II

Drunken, on the joy
Of being freed
In the sub-conscious
From the deeply
Repressive unconscious

Under closed lids
In sleep
Or surfacing in
Eyes, wide-shut

They query, querulously

Aren’t we your babies?

Won’t you let in some air?

Me, me, me, Today!

But why? Why not?

What are you afraid of?

They issue scathing statements:

Lioness? Uh uh.

You’re a crab.

Eh? No, no, they have an exoskeleton!

This one? No spine, no bone!

But just sometimes, sometimes
They say this too:

Thank you, for living me!
And thank you, for not 
Letting the others die!


23 April, 2015
(A delightful discovery of a scrawl in an old diary from last year 🙂 ❤ )

Picture, courtesy Google Image search 😀




How it all came to be.

What? Valentine’s Day, of course. What else would I be rambling about on the eve of the most momentous of days that every first-crush to newest in relationship person would have been looking forward to, ever since the beginning of the year, all the warning of moral police notwithstanding? Yes indeed, Valentine’s Day is an out and out romantic venture. Always has been. But we in our “let’s spread love around – and make it about all kinds of love” have generalized it to cover ALL kinds of love for people, animals, food, the flora and fauna, and what have you! Just as we have made a “Mothers’/Fathers’/Teachers’/Friends’ Day” what WE think it ought to be. I’m not about to ramble on whether or not we should have a day set aside for that – that’s been gone over a dozen times, and I do find a sense of purpose in it, even if you don’t, and I’m quite Ok with you not agreeing, so we shall leave that interesting debate-that-really-oughtn’t-to-be-because-we-can-agree-to-disagree-if-we’re-adult-enough, at the threshold of this post. It’s not invited. 😀

Apparently,  apparently,  the Day originated in a Pagan festival (Lupercalia??), or so says this LINK, that sounds believable – though I balk at the animal sacrifice, and generally brushing the sacrificial blood on people (who welcomed it since it was all about fertility issues 😛 ) – which later, when organized religion in the form of Christianity stepped in, was gently ordained into the faith itself. Later, by the 17th century, it became even more popular, and it got marketed successfully in the mid-nineteenth century (guess where!!! 😛 ) in America, and the rest, as they say IS History! 😀 The Lupercalia is a mid February festival (duh!) and so……. 🙂 😀 😛 And it is all about the birds and bees. So… double Duh. 😛

There is a really interesting part about women putting their names in an urn, and the eligible bachelors of the village picking up a name, and spending the next year together, at the end of which if they wish they can get married. If they so wish. The power of consent is what is lacking these days, in a relationship. People were far more open minded years ago, that is for sure.

This day also takes me back to the days of the Pink Chadhi rising over the Mangalore incident in which a certain political party chief and his office received heaps of pink panties from all over the country, and abroad, to instill in him a love of humanity, and LOVE 😛 (If you have the time and patience, and want to re-live those few days from February, 2009 you can get a feel of it Here and Here and Here  )

Finally, make the day what you want it to. 🙂 Love rules. Each darned day. Make it a special one tomorrow 🙂 ❤


13 February, 2016
february ramblings
Day#13 of #RamblingsInFebruary 🙂



He added to her existence as she negated his, from hers. His time divided, as it was, into his own pursuits, knowing her to be the common denominator of his life, and therefore dependable, was never hers in a way that quite eroded the precarious balance she maintained. The progression, quite undramatic, yet consistent, step by step devalued that common denominator, until it quite disappeared.

You know what you get, when a whole is fractured with no denominator, don’t you?

And the Master thought he had solved all the problems, by fitting them into neat identities, pigeon-holed to perfection, not anticipating that his creation would be the nemesis that creations are, to all creators. One step ahead, always heading into resultant chaos.

So it was with them. The carpet when pulled from under one’s feet, is not a pleasant experience, as when the one on top loses that denominator. Forget balancing – finding their own numbers, and places would have been enough.

If the Master so desired.

She handed in her Math paper, with equanimity, a hint of a smile playing out. It was the most daring thing she’d ever done. She stifled a giggle. The only one. She couldn’t wait to see the response on the teacher’s face. Fatalistically, she visualized the explosion, the flurry of calls, the summons to the HM’s room, the inquisition, the referrals, the gentle invasion into her mind, the well-meaning pitiful looks for the wispy, geeky, frail nobody of a girl.

Now they’d take note. A sudden rush of love, for herself, overwhelmed her.

11 February, 2016

february ramblings

Day#11 of #RamblingsInFebruary – this one goes beyond surreal. That’s why these are called ramblings 😛



They were both adopted. You’d think they’d find a common ground and find companionship, but no, from day one they eyed each other with a wary disrespect. The elder one could have made things easier because he’d been around, was familiar with his Amma, who he was very possessive about. You understand why he couldn’t find much love for the darling baby, well not really a baby, but young enough, she was, to know how to go about establishing rights over the parent.

Try as she might, with cajoling, bribes, sweet talk, holding both their hands, sometimes hugging them as close as possible, which he could not stand, for long, as he escaped the suffocation, nothing seemed to be able to bring them close to each other.

Night times were sometimes traumatic. She was the newer baby, so she demanded attention, while he began to feel as if he was being ignored. Both of them insisted on sleeping next to Amma. And then, the poking and pushing, which wasn’t conducive for her sleep. Finally, all of them would sleep, exhausted by the bickering, and Amma’s stern reprimands – which included a sharp tap when needed!

Amma never knew what made her boy so angry always, especially with his little sister, but gave him a long rope. At least he didn’t attack her as violently as she though he would. There was hope, and it was this that kept her hoping for that miracle, when they would both accept each other.

In this space you read such things that be true. Them miracles, like this one did come true. You see, what they say about True Love is a cliche maybe, but who’s to say cliches aren’t true? You give your kids enough love, and never cut that supply, they find love too, in each other. But you gotta work for it, as a parent, always hoping 🙂

Amma did, watching with joy, as unexpectedly, one night, she came upon this as she was getting ready for bed 🙂


The Siblings-Kuttan and Mia 🙂

Love never fails. 🙂 ❤

Day#9 of #RamblingsInFebruary is a True Love Story 🙂

february ramblings

9 February, 2016