A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)

Mommy Dearest…

22 Comments

No, I am not plagiarizing a beautiful title, of a well known Hollywood actress’ biography (Joan Crawford’s by her adopted daughter). Rather, hot on the heels of Mothers’ Day, is yet another special one for me. Mine grows another year younger, and it’s about time I acknowledged that one 🙂 🙂

My SB said to me the other day, amma, you know we’ve been together the last almost 22 years, and it’s going to be difficult na, when I go? I mean, you’ve known me only a part of your life, but I’ve known you all my life! 😆 Understatement, isn’t it? Of course he was just rehashing an old cliché!! But that is the point I’m trying to make. All our lives, we know one person the mostest, I think, our mother, sometimes, more than our father. In India at least :D! And so it is with Mom. Yes, I call her Mummy, Mom, Maaaaa… somehow never got around to calling her Amma, though my kids call me that. On my insistence! My paternal grandma, at her insistence, was called Amma by my brothers and I. That is another story for another rainy-no-muse day :)!

Mom has been the strongest pillar of our family. Not just us, but even hers, I sometimes think. She takes after her own mother, who I have already described in “A Woman Extraordinaire”, with a zest for life, and an unconditional and uninhibited go-for-it attitude to life. She, like me, is the ham  of a club sandwich, the 5th of 10 children her parents had. 11 if you were to count the oldest, a half brother. Life was tough as they grew, she and her siblings; lots of ancestral property managed by the Kaarnavar, or the eldest Maternal Uncle, the head of the family, entirely matriarchal… a childhood of getting, not much at all, just enough to live, dreaming of things, rushing about doing a 100 jobs around the place, along with the others. Going to school, walking over 3 miles up, then down again; taking turns to carry the large tiffin carrier; being denied further studies after her 10th, which only she and her youngest sister passed, because she had been seen, approved and was to be married off!! Tough times. Times that could, I have felt, crushed one with a weaker spirit.

So almost 50 years ago, she got married, a charming 17 year old, to a handsome tall dashing young navy man. My Dad. Though there are times we, both mom n I, rave and rant about men, I have always felt she was lucky, way luckier than her sisters, cousins, relatives, heck, even me :P! But then, I am biased am I not? She got married to my .. MY dad :D! Tougher times ahead, unfortunately! Being the wife of an only son has its problems. A possessive mother in law, who, though never abusive or hurtful, was possessive enough to make things difficult! But, yet again, she was lucky in that she was able to join Dad and travel with him on his various postings. And then of course, she had us 🙂 🙂 🙂 Lucky her! Lol!

With just a year between my EB and me, it was difficult for her to manage us, especially with Dad off sailing for long periods. But manage she did, and beautifully. For, in an alien city, Mumbai, with alien language and customs, she took to it all like a duck to water, and sailed through with flying colours. In Delhi too, the same happened.

She has  taken us to heights, and been with us through all our lows, been firm, yet loosened the bonds and apron strings when required, and kept us grounded and level headed through everything. Just everything. Be it the double fractures my EB had, the sickly chap my YB was, the rebel I became through my adolescence… right through it all, like a rock, she was there, always there. Never preachy, though she had and still has a booming voice when she gets mad 😉 😉 Dad was also there, but he was the strong and silent type back then 🙂 Now he is just the opposite, ever since his grandchildren got him to open up 🙂 🙂

You see, she grows younger as I have already said. She gels instantly with persons of all ages. It takes just a few seconds to get anyone talking, with her listening and drawing them out. She never holds back, be it advice sometimes, knocking common sense sometimes, listening, encouraging, consoling. There are very very few people I have come across who can reach out the way she has. In fact even my kids’ gang of friends are her friends; she never holds back; nothing, absolutely nothing!

When she knew I was going to be alone, in a few months time, there was no, why don’t you come down here, or shall we come there… just a reminder to be stronger, and have real expectations 🙂 And while we still agree to disagree on a lot of issues, the bonds are stronger than ever. She guides, unhesitatingly, and silently. Waits. Never nags, or asks. It’s cool, either way. She gives us space. Our own, and asks we never trample on hers :D!!

Linda Goodman, in her Sun Signs, speaks of the Taurean Woman as someone who walks tall. That’s her, my mother. She’s barely above 5 feet, but towers in ways we never could. To her indomitable spirit, and endless enthusiasm, not to forget her sheer gregarious spirit, here’s a toast! For health, peace of mind (she says that is fairy tale :D), for smiles each day, and less pain, esp around the knee 🙂 :)… (she’s going to blow a fuse when I show her this one, but it will be worth it! )Since she has already approved the Vishu and Thrissur Pooram posts, I think I might strike lucky with a third I share with her 🙂 🙂

Mummy, you’re the best. That is why even we are 🙂 Happy Birthday! May you grow even more years younger, each passing day 🙂 🙂 And may we be blessed to have your grace with us, always 🙂

The slide above has been prepared by my sister in law 🙂 Thanks Trips and Vinu, for saying is so beautifully for all of us 🙂 🙂

(Click on pic to enlarge, to read the beautiful words they have written 🙂 )

11 May, 2010, for 15 May, 2010

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Author: Usha Pisharody

A rambler, pretends to be a teacher, loves to dream, and go on Quixotic Quests in the Realm of Romance With Life...

22 thoughts on “Mommy Dearest…

  1. What do I say about this. Its such a “Yes, ditto” kind of post for all of us when it comes to our mother, granny. You have kept the post as it is, never trying to make it look professional. This personal simplicity is what makes us smile all the time while going through it coz as if we are reading our own and wondering how could we not write this or maybe – I should copy this and keep for me ( :D).

    Whatever, but I am sure if today anyone is going to be the proudest mother, thats her, for you.

    Just made my day. I will keep referring to this as long as I am away from home and feeling bad for being away from my family. Thank you.

    Thank you too, Soumya 🙂 You made my day too! I got her to sit down and read this, and she went rather pink and wanted to know why on earth I was telling her story!!! Typical isn’t is? Of a mother?? 🙂 🙂

    So I said, this one is for me, not anyone else :D!!!! Because she is the best, and if i am in anyway me, that is because of her 🙂 🙂

    Thanks also for all the good words, Soumya… for the kind of post you think this one is! Thanks a ton!!!

    Like

  2. That was such a beautiful post, Ushus. Its a privilege to read and know about such an amazing lady as your mom 🙂

    Here’s wishing her all the happiness in the world 🙂

    Thank you Deeps 🙂

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  3. We love u too mcheriamma … ucheriamma … beautifully written … seriously :))

    Sheetal… this is a joy 🙂 To have your words here 🙂 Thanks so much!

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  4. “A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.

    – Lois Wyse

    Ash, trust you to pick up something for yourself too, while you are at it 🙂 🙂 Ammums will agree with you there 🙂 🙂

    And so is this beautiful Lady – My own Ammumma!!!

    And Amma, trust me ure one of the best daughters a mother can expect!! 🙂 🙂 U’re doing an awesome job!!

    Awww… and Hawwww! Thanks thanks thanks!

    This post is giving me goosebumps and makin me SOOOHH HAPPY i cant explain!! 🙂 🙂 A simile is pasted on my face thinking about dis and thinking that my GM is growing Younger!!!

    Shes the best!

    Thanks Kunjunn… 🙂 🙂 Indeed she s the Best!

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  5. Usha, Convey my birthday wishes to your mother and also that I seek her blessings!

    Shall do, Govind, and thank you for your wishes 🙂

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  6. “I have always felt she was lucky, way luckier than her sisters, cousins, relatives, heck, even me ! But then, I am biased am I not? She got married to my .. MY dad! ”

    You are the best, Ushus. I say the same thing. Dads are the best. My husband needn’t worry because he has Peanut who worships the ground he walks on. 😀

    Beautiful post.

    Auntie, you’re the best b/c you gave us Ushus. 🙂

    Thanks for that awesome feeling you give me, Sol 🙂 🙂 It is precious having mom, and dad 🙂 🙂 !

    And, I love the way you concur with me, and yet keep your husband from worrying about it, because he’s got his daughter too 🙂 Lovely!!

    Thanks again 🙂 🙂

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  7. I already called up and gave the review! 🙂

    I loved it. There’s a huge amount of information in the blog, but its really nice the way you’ve made everything blend together.

    Nice pics too! 🙂

    KK, you did, still, it’s nice to have your words, in writing 🙂 My memory sometimes deserts me, you know! Thank you for the kind words on the blog! Looking forward to helping you do up yours too! Hehehe… 😆

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  8. Oh I think we all daughters say the same thing .. Dad is the best and Mom is lucky to hv him 😉
    Lovely post and beautiful pics 🙂 Belated, nonetheless my best wishes to ur Mom 🙂

    Swaram, thank you so much for the wishes 🙂 Nice to know you feel that way too, about dads :D!!! Thanks again!

    Like

  9. I have kept it in my “bookmarks” for 3 days. Read again and again and wondered every time how could I appreciate this one. Because appreciating it as an article will undo its beauty. And should I appreciate you, the writer, or your mommy, the inspiration? It’s really not an article or story. What I have just experienced while reading it is love and care, boundless and flowing, and mutual.
    Something inside me shivers now as I long to see my Mummy. Oh! I really miss her now, after reading you. You wrote it so beautifully.
    No doubt, your mother is wonderful for we, all of us, are only a frail shadow of our parents.
    I wish I could have said more.
    I really thank you from my heart for sharing this.

    Ankur, touched by your words! Thank you for the kindness of your words and feelings! And I do hope you get to go home soon 🙂 🙂 🙂 I like the way you put it: We are only a frail shadow of our parents! True, very true!

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  10. Usha …arent we lucky to have such wonderful women as our mothers. I too share avery strong bond with my mum, she has been the pillar of our family, and now with my dad gone, she is a mom and dad too. I truly believe I am what I am because of my Mother. My husband keeps telling me if I can be half of my mother…i should be a proud woman…i try..but am only a gender partner to her in many ways….on alighter vein..am learning to show my gratitude to herby not reacting to her watching over me in my middle age for signs of improvement……..Mums shall always be mums….so says my daughter too…..
    Usha……..loved this statement…She gives us space. Our own, and asks we never trample on hers !!
    No wonder, you are what you are.Mutual respect in any relationship helps it flourish only.A very heart warming post.

    We are, indeed Poonam 🙂 Very very blessed and lucky! Though it’s the hardest to be the wonder that are parents are, sometimes that is all we wish for 🙂 I like this too: “am learning to show my gratitude to herby not reacting to her watching over me in my middle age for signs of improvement” … Hehehe..same here 😀 :D! It’s tough, but I’m getting the hang of things, and learning to let go of little piques and pouts :D!

    Thanks so much Poonam, it really is lovely to hear from you.

    Like

  11. Late as this may be…couldnt have a better description for all that achchamma is and more!!!
    Missing her now all the more!!!!..cant wait to get there….AANd u said it u’cheriamma….she does truly get younger every miniute..with the capacity more the whole family put together will ever have..:D
    The best part was about the Taurean woman…5ft tall and towering above us all..heheh..so true……So here’s to the most adorable grandma!….love you achamma!!!!

    PS: There couldnt be a cuter pic of achamma’s….almost a gist of this whole post in there!

    Archie…. 🙂 🙂 Missed this one 😦
    Hey thanks so much for those lovely words, for Achama too.. 🙂 🙂 I know, her picture is so HER na? Wl make sure Achamma sees this one too! Thanks thanks thanks 🙂 🙂 Love u too!!!

    Like

  12. Do convey my wishes to ur Mom Usha..

    And such a pleasure to read you first time and that too when u wrote about ur Mom…
    I guess all of us will have infinte words when it comes to Moms n Dads… I love calling mine Amma and she loves it too 🙂 🙂 Oh Yes, daddy’s that I am … and how my Dad complains when we forget Father’s day in June and always remember his wife’s in May heee hee 🙂 I would say my parents are lucky to get each other, and beget the two of us because they are our mom and dad….
    And lovely lines on the pic.. 🙂 🙂
    And lovely post! ya plagarizing other comments here, but can’t help it though 😉

    Like

    • Dear Ashwathi, sorry to be late with my reply… Mom’s birthday is just a couple of days away and I was re-winding towards this post, when I saw some of the comments not attended to! Thanks so much for the warm words, and for sharing about your parents too!

      Like

  13. Forgive me. After reading this post, I can’t find the right words to put down in my comment. Every word seems superfluous in comparison to these heartfelt emotions, expressed in words. Mothers are indeed special – you leave me in no doubt about – how special.

    Belated happy birthday to your wonderful mom.

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  14. Ushus Ushus Ushus!! This entire post is about me and ma. It just is.

    And this ?
    Though there are times we, both mom n I, rave and rant about men
    LOL!! Ushus I have used exactly the same words in a write for ma thats lying as a draft! exactly the same!

    Dads ofcourse are the bestest 😀 you know how we daughters hero worship em 😀

    But it is only when one is growing up and in that search of one’s own identity turns around to find a woman instead of a mom or someone’s wife or someone’s sister.

    Just a woman. That is when you realize of all that she is and has been .

    Loved that write on aunty’ s mom when I read it long back and now love this one too.
    This is just so heartfelt.
    And I see that many loved ones are here. Basking in the warmth that is so you as you are basking in theirs.:)

    (((((((((((hugs))))))))))

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    • Meggie, my dear, why am I not surprised!! I’ve read your Que Sera Sera, and the love that fills that post is something else, truly it is. the artful way with words, the honesty and the simplicity with which you have written is so out of this world! Thank you dearest gurl!

      Like

  15. Our whole hearted namaskaarams to your mother, Usha! Very rarely we come across strong ladies like your mother! Great.

    Now, I know how you are like this!

    Many many more happy returns of the day to her, Usha! Let her be happy always!

    Like

    • Sandhya, it is true, how rarely we meet/know of such strong persons. Each person my mother has met has been witness to the warmth, the smiles and the boundless energy and positivity she carries around with her. Thank you so very much!

      Like

  16. This made me cry. These days I am too much worried about my mother’s health and this sure did bring back memories for me. Let her grace be with you, forever!
    For you, Usha!
    https://bindujohnroy.wordpress.com/2012/05/22/thank-you-for-the-inspiration/

    Like

    • Bindu, thank you for those tears… and for the words. I do hope your mother’s health is better and that her difficulties have eased. Holding you in my prayers too! Sorry for the delay in getting here!

      Like

  17. Pingback: 7; Because the Zero does not count :) | A Quest on Overdrive … :)

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