A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


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For My Little One :)

Disclaimer : All the research for this post is certainly non emperical, and based purely on personal observation and bias. Lol. Given that, please go on and read at your own risk. There is a sort of guarantee that you might fall asleep half way (being a rather looong ramble) so please have a cushion ready at the keyboard, where you are likely to topple as you gently fall forward, eyes glazed over. Now that is out of the way, do please continue 🙂

Tag time again, and this one is a special one, for a special person, on a special occasion. The second born of course, after the first one got his place in the virtual sun, here and here 🙂 IHM [again :)] had tagged me on how different the second born has been, and has he wiped the smugness off his parents’ faces 😛! Going back to her post, to revise and review, I came across my comment, part of which I’d like to quote, as a sort of introduction, to me too, a second born, the middle one of three, the ham of the sandwich, as I am so fond of saying!

Aeons ago I had this to write on IHM’s post:

Now that I know, and have been tagged :D , this is going to be interesting! I am a second born, and I am going to write about how my second born is so very much like me :D :D ! A stirrer and shake-up-er! Certainly wiped the smug proud parent look off the parents’ faces :P !

I know that IHM, Shail, recently, and others, Indygurl and Solilo have all done one or other version of the tag, both before and after IHM’s post, and each of them have been beautifully done. Being a second born myself, I have felt the heat, felt different, and weird, and all that jazz, and have often wondered, of late, if the little one too perhaps did. Now I don’t. I know  😀 !

They say first born are…

  • way more angelic… ??? 😀
  • way more responsible 🙂
  • seem to mature faster (they ought to, don’t you think, seeing that they need to make space for the second one in line :P)
  • more accomodating, adaptive..??
  • can be easier to engage, in activities…
  • perhaps better readers, too

These I have garnered from snippets shared on different posts with the same thread.

Going by my own history and what I see being made of my offspring (Gosh! what a thought!) I think these are the observations that I deem noteworthy 🙂

  • First borns are indeed angelic ( go on and gloat, all you FBs..Lol!), though naughtier 😛
  • They’re very friendly and engaging
  • Very easy to care for
  • Not in the least fussy, which however, these days (at home, with my FB) is getting me rather impatient! I do wish my big ‘un would at least change clothes, freshen up when he needs to go out, even if it is with me or his friends :D!
  • They’re voracious readers. He can wade his way through a tome quicker than you can snap his fingers 🙂 I think that has to do with the fact that he had so many story tellers as a child. He was the first grandchild for all his grandparents, and the first baby in the house, for his aunts and uncles too 🙂
  • He’s mature and responsible, yes, but forgetful too 🙂

That is the big ‘un. But then this is about the second born, who has been biding his time; and all that while after the April 12 write for the elder one, I have been waiting to do this for the little one. Though there is this verse, of sorts, intended purely for him, you know one needs to balance well, esp with the kids :)!

So, from Kunju, the elder, and me, this is for you Kunjunni, my little one 🙂

Being a second born myself, I find ever so many commonalities in temperament and thought, that it is sometimes amazing. (At the same time I now sympathize and empathize with my own mother :P)And perhaps because of that we mirror so much of each others’ thoughts, and therefore end up having these absolutely grand arguments and fights, dramatically reacting and over reacting, silent sulks and verbal wars. Not to forget, of course, the fantastic wavelength we are on most times, speaking out each others’ thoughts Too!!

Where do I begin to tell you of him?

An angelic baby (who should have been a daughter, I have said ever so often!) he soon proved to be  truly angelic, determined and single minded when it came to routine, people and activities.

It had been so easy to handle the elder one. He’d go along with anyone and everyone… grandparents, aunts, cousins, neighbours 🙂 and could be kept so easily entertained. Well behaved too, if you dont take into account his fondness for throwing onions and potatoes, and on occasion, the heavy iron out of my parents’ 4th floor apt. in Mumbai :D! Stories fascinated him, and still do 🙂

But, the little one? Oh no Siree! Only his Amma for him, thank you. Everyone else was to keep safe distance, and not even THINK of looking at him, let alone TALK. The very thought! Dear God! His lower lip would jut out, curl downwards, and he’d being with a small wail that grew in volume and intensity! To gloss over… travelling with both of them, on my own, which I had to do often, was no cakewalk :D! Exhausting? Way beyond all that!

It took all of four years for him to permit others to befriend him; till then no other than his immediate family, parents and brother, and maternal grandma were allowed into his hallowed space.

The same little one has a circle of friends too many to count, and all of them from a variety of classes and colleges, and places 🙂

Perhaps, because, with the passing of time, he grew with a charm that seemed to knock people off their perch, while he maintained his space 🙂 I have never figured out how he managed to do that 🙂

He has been a quiet Lion. (Ok he is a Leo too :)) not the loud, and roaring variety; in his pre teens. All of which changed when he finished his Std X. The cub transformed then. Quietly there assumed a young lion whose leadership skills were as astonishing, as they were competent. Other colleagues at my school (where both of them studied, poor things :D) began to wonder at the “smiling baby” who seemed, all of a sudden to have grown up!

Do second borns transform suddenly? I’ve wondered. Growing up in the shadow of a more accomplished sibling (the elder one was a prefect and all that… :)), when they find the sun peeking out at them , after the shadow shifts, do they then bloom?

It seems to have been somewhat similar in my case.  With an extra intelligent, talented, athletic elder brother, who always topped his class, played in the U-19 state cricket team, who was Captain of the NDA cricket team later, it was hard to live up to expectations, though none were voiced 🙂 Once he moved out of home, I guess I changed a lot 🙂 First off, I changed courses at college without my parents knowing. From BSc to BA, later informed my folks, who accepted quite gracefully :D! And then got into every possible activity in school, and freaked out. Literally.

But back to my little one 🙂

Once he began his engineering studies, the change became more pronounced. He came across as more confident, the diffidence of his early years having quite been obliterated 🙂 Right up until yesterday, at the close of day, a succesful day of competitions at their inter branch internal competitions at college, he received so many messages of congratulations on his leadership and for his co ordination.

I wonder again. Do the second borns suddenly change with time, and …. I think so. 🙂 🙂 I did. Mine did.

Second borns… yes

  • They have a mind of their own, and are rather unlikely to change it for anything 🙂
  • They experiment more… avidly; and daringly – hair colours, peircing ears, testing the limits of a parent’s patience 🙂
  • I think they are more creative??
  • Are more emotionally insecure, most times?
  • Seem to always feel the need to prove themselves… 🙂

And this young Lion of mine, I always tell him he is a class apart. He swells with pride. Either way, positive or negative that “class apart” may be, he’s happy not belonging to the herd 😛

He jumps in with both feet, into anything and everything

He also puts both feet in where they should not be, his mouth, a lot 😀 😀 :D!

And then the “sorry” game begins… more to soothe, than to repent 😀

And finally his classic line… all his, though he did appropriate it from “Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum”

Parampara, Mom, Parampara

takes the cake!

Lol. It would seem that the kid has suddenly discovered his heritage, which he discovered similarities with the other second born at home. His mother 🙂

And why, you wonder, am I telling you all this today? This lion, hot on the heels of another young Lioness is celebrating his birthday on 3 August.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Kunjunni 🙂

Mr President you rock! (ref. to earlier post, to know why President..Lol!)

With fond wishes, and all our Love

The First Amma

The First Brother

The First Dogs – Chinnu, Kuttan, Appu and Paru

and

The First Cat – Malu

🙂

May you be blessed abundantly. Always.

You certainly are your favourite thought personified.

Leadership is about Action, not Position

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Random Rambles (so what is new, anyway?? :P) on Being a Mother…

Finally. Lol.

I wonder though how many times I am going to be saying that over and over again. Running away, then returning. Highly irresponsible behaviour indeed, but then well, if you were to ask me, I should reply very honestly. Guilty as charged. There is also this sense of revelling in such behaviour of late. Perhaps I am now growing up 🙂 Whatever and however, I am back, most of me ie. With a lull in the work sphere, a breather is here, for a week or two, when I shall indulge in soaking in the blogosphere again. Thank you , dear friends for all your wishes, and for dropping in even when there was no new word here 🙂 So what now, I asked myself. And fell back on some homework given a long time ago, by IHM…who had  once upon a long time ago asked me to share my thoughts on being a mother.

So here goes:

Being a mother is discovering limitless patience, something you trashed, when you were a child.

Being a mother is being impatient with those who cannot smile, at a child.

Being amother is being happy and proud, sad and angry, all at once, when your little one comes home, having ridden his bicycle on his own, the first time, had a crash too, messed himself up, cut his brow, dripping blood, and hooting all the way to the clinic where they don’t let you hold his hand while they stitch him up, and he knowing that, ensures his six year self will not make a sound…

Being a mother is not sleeping for nights on end, being bleary eyed, red rimmed around the eyes,  and yet fresh as a daisy, energetic enough to stroll to the park when your offspring finally breaks his fever and wants “out”!

Being a mother is knowing you will worry, always; but will never share that worry, and keep it a guarded secret, which you later discover is quite an open secret. 😛

Being a mother is saying how much you love your kids by getting angry with them, and then, what the heck, telling them anyway! 😀

It is a proud moment being amother, theirs, when they take you around, young stripping lads, pillion riding on their new bikes, and better yet, proud sons, riding pillion behind their mother! Thank you guys, I know I’ll never live that one down! 🙂

Being amother, is something you will never grow out of, once you become one! No matter even if your kids are 40+… I know. Because of my mother !

Being amother, in the back of the beyond where convention and custom rule is rather fun, when one can shock a complacent and staid neighbourhood with one’s favourite attire of jeans… quite unthinkable for, well… A Mother! Lol!

But, sometimes, like IHM has shared, I don’t like being a mother…
…When I realize the world is so full of perverts and paedophiles…

…When I know the mother is worshipped ostentatiously , trampled under insidiously, and shoved into that pigeon hole she must never grow out of…

…When people assume that as a mother one must conform and then be idolized- and rarely, if ever, inspire…

Being a mother is even greater fun, when one can preen at astonished remarks-Oh? That is your mother? Rather than feeling weird, I revel in that!

Being amother – you can do anything! That is the faith your children repose in you- and that is what endlessly provokes and inspires. And even when they know otherwise, they would rather believe – moms can make it better!

I love being a mother, more so, today, when I had this conversation with my little one- the gangly six foot soon to be engineer :D!
He is the President of his Civil Engg Branch Association at college (ahem! Ahem! That is a darned proud mom sharing a tidbit, quite deliberately, one might add 😀 quite unnecessarily too :P!) He had streaked his hair (red), inspired others to follow suit, and took his best friend this evening  to get his done, blonde… Brought him home, soliticiously  offered him a cap (black) to escape detection at home (seeing as his mom might not be as accommodating), with a warning, that they could both return home sooner than I expected. Of course, being a mom I know, and they do too… but warnings must not be ignored either!
When he returned, alone, I remarked that he certainly was lucky to have me as his mother. He was not amused, but regarded me quizzically. I knew the look, and knew something was cooking. I continued to write, and ramble, this very piece, I must add 😀

“Amma, you know, my friends say that I’d look great with my ears pierced. Ear. Only one.”

(I knew he had already bought a pair of earrings, and mulled over ways to get it done :P)

“Sure” I replied, not even batting an eyelid, and continued writing.

Silence. I looked up. He looked exasperated.

“Amma, why can’t you say NO?”

“NO, if you want me to… “ grinning broadly now. Me, that is.

He joins. “Can’t you really refuse? It’s no fun doing it when you don’t oppose”

Rofl.

Talk of contradictions.

And then I remind him of a mutually favourite Calvin and Hobbes comic strip (we both discovered them this vacation, and are absolute fans :P) when Calvin’s mom allows him to smoke, which he does, finds out the real way whether to go on or not, and comes out with the Classic Note on parenting : (Scroll down and read it…:D!) Iloved it! And yes, I love being a mom. Just thought I’d clarify anyway.

calvin and hobbes

Need I add more? I think not. I do not want to give Indygurl a run for her money 🙂 And yes…. Happy Birthday Indygurl… and Happy Friendship Day too… 🙂 Solilo beat me to it, but what the heck… I shall just add one more wish and blessing to her lot 🙂

1 August, 2009