A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


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For My Little One :)

Disclaimer : All the research for this post is certainly non emperical, and based purely on personal observation and bias. Lol. Given that, please go on and read at your own risk. There is a sort of guarantee that you might fall asleep half way (being a rather looong ramble) so please have a cushion ready at the keyboard, where you are likely to topple as you gently fall forward, eyes glazed over. Now that is out of the way, do please continue 🙂

Tag time again, and this one is a special one, for a special person, on a special occasion. The second born of course, after the first one got his place in the virtual sun, here and here 🙂 IHM [again :)] had tagged me on how different the second born has been, and has he wiped the smugness off his parents’ faces 😛! Going back to her post, to revise and review, I came across my comment, part of which I’d like to quote, as a sort of introduction, to me too, a second born, the middle one of three, the ham of the sandwich, as I am so fond of saying!

Aeons ago I had this to write on IHM’s post:

Now that I know, and have been tagged :D , this is going to be interesting! I am a second born, and I am going to write about how my second born is so very much like me :D :D ! A stirrer and shake-up-er! Certainly wiped the smug proud parent look off the parents’ faces :P !

I know that IHM, Shail, recently, and others, Indygurl and Solilo have all done one or other version of the tag, both before and after IHM’s post, and each of them have been beautifully done. Being a second born myself, I have felt the heat, felt different, and weird, and all that jazz, and have often wondered, of late, if the little one too perhaps did. Now I don’t. I know  😀 !

They say first born are…

  • way more angelic… ??? 😀
  • way more responsible 🙂
  • seem to mature faster (they ought to, don’t you think, seeing that they need to make space for the second one in line :P)
  • more accomodating, adaptive..??
  • can be easier to engage, in activities…
  • perhaps better readers, too

These I have garnered from snippets shared on different posts with the same thread.

Going by my own history and what I see being made of my offspring (Gosh! what a thought!) I think these are the observations that I deem noteworthy 🙂

  • First borns are indeed angelic ( go on and gloat, all you FBs..Lol!), though naughtier 😛
  • They’re very friendly and engaging
  • Very easy to care for
  • Not in the least fussy, which however, these days (at home, with my FB) is getting me rather impatient! I do wish my big ‘un would at least change clothes, freshen up when he needs to go out, even if it is with me or his friends :D!
  • They’re voracious readers. He can wade his way through a tome quicker than you can snap his fingers 🙂 I think that has to do with the fact that he had so many story tellers as a child. He was the first grandchild for all his grandparents, and the first baby in the house, for his aunts and uncles too 🙂
  • He’s mature and responsible, yes, but forgetful too 🙂

That is the big ‘un. But then this is about the second born, who has been biding his time; and all that while after the April 12 write for the elder one, I have been waiting to do this for the little one. Though there is this verse, of sorts, intended purely for him, you know one needs to balance well, esp with the kids :)!

So, from Kunju, the elder, and me, this is for you Kunjunni, my little one 🙂

Being a second born myself, I find ever so many commonalities in temperament and thought, that it is sometimes amazing. (At the same time I now sympathize and empathize with my own mother :P)And perhaps because of that we mirror so much of each others’ thoughts, and therefore end up having these absolutely grand arguments and fights, dramatically reacting and over reacting, silent sulks and verbal wars. Not to forget, of course, the fantastic wavelength we are on most times, speaking out each others’ thoughts Too!!

Where do I begin to tell you of him?

An angelic baby (who should have been a daughter, I have said ever so often!) he soon proved to be  truly angelic, determined and single minded when it came to routine, people and activities.

It had been so easy to handle the elder one. He’d go along with anyone and everyone… grandparents, aunts, cousins, neighbours 🙂 and could be kept so easily entertained. Well behaved too, if you dont take into account his fondness for throwing onions and potatoes, and on occasion, the heavy iron out of my parents’ 4th floor apt. in Mumbai :D! Stories fascinated him, and still do 🙂

But, the little one? Oh no Siree! Only his Amma for him, thank you. Everyone else was to keep safe distance, and not even THINK of looking at him, let alone TALK. The very thought! Dear God! His lower lip would jut out, curl downwards, and he’d being with a small wail that grew in volume and intensity! To gloss over… travelling with both of them, on my own, which I had to do often, was no cakewalk :D! Exhausting? Way beyond all that!

It took all of four years for him to permit others to befriend him; till then no other than his immediate family, parents and brother, and maternal grandma were allowed into his hallowed space.

The same little one has a circle of friends too many to count, and all of them from a variety of classes and colleges, and places 🙂

Perhaps, because, with the passing of time, he grew with a charm that seemed to knock people off their perch, while he maintained his space 🙂 I have never figured out how he managed to do that 🙂

He has been a quiet Lion. (Ok he is a Leo too :)) not the loud, and roaring variety; in his pre teens. All of which changed when he finished his Std X. The cub transformed then. Quietly there assumed a young lion whose leadership skills were as astonishing, as they were competent. Other colleagues at my school (where both of them studied, poor things :D) began to wonder at the “smiling baby” who seemed, all of a sudden to have grown up!

Do second borns transform suddenly? I’ve wondered. Growing up in the shadow of a more accomplished sibling (the elder one was a prefect and all that… :)), when they find the sun peeking out at them , after the shadow shifts, do they then bloom?

It seems to have been somewhat similar in my case.  With an extra intelligent, talented, athletic elder brother, who always topped his class, played in the U-19 state cricket team, who was Captain of the NDA cricket team later, it was hard to live up to expectations, though none were voiced 🙂 Once he moved out of home, I guess I changed a lot 🙂 First off, I changed courses at college without my parents knowing. From BSc to BA, later informed my folks, who accepted quite gracefully :D! And then got into every possible activity in school, and freaked out. Literally.

But back to my little one 🙂

Once he began his engineering studies, the change became more pronounced. He came across as more confident, the diffidence of his early years having quite been obliterated 🙂 Right up until yesterday, at the close of day, a succesful day of competitions at their inter branch internal competitions at college, he received so many messages of congratulations on his leadership and for his co ordination.

I wonder again. Do the second borns suddenly change with time, and …. I think so. 🙂 🙂 I did. Mine did.

Second borns… yes

  • They have a mind of their own, and are rather unlikely to change it for anything 🙂
  • They experiment more… avidly; and daringly – hair colours, peircing ears, testing the limits of a parent’s patience 🙂
  • I think they are more creative??
  • Are more emotionally insecure, most times?
  • Seem to always feel the need to prove themselves… 🙂

And this young Lion of mine, I always tell him he is a class apart. He swells with pride. Either way, positive or negative that “class apart” may be, he’s happy not belonging to the herd 😛

He jumps in with both feet, into anything and everything

He also puts both feet in where they should not be, his mouth, a lot 😀 😀 :D!

And then the “sorry” game begins… more to soothe, than to repent 😀

And finally his classic line… all his, though he did appropriate it from “Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Ghum”

Parampara, Mom, Parampara

takes the cake!

Lol. It would seem that the kid has suddenly discovered his heritage, which he discovered similarities with the other second born at home. His mother 🙂

And why, you wonder, am I telling you all this today? This lion, hot on the heels of another young Lioness is celebrating his birthday on 3 August.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Kunjunni 🙂

Mr President you rock! (ref. to earlier post, to know why President..Lol!)

With fond wishes, and all our Love

The First Amma

The First Brother

The First Dogs – Chinnu, Kuttan, Appu and Paru

and

The First Cat – Malu

🙂

May you be blessed abundantly. Always.

You certainly are your favourite thought personified.

Leadership is about Action, not Position


15 Comments

The Pinking-Giri, A Movement of the Times!

I actually said I would say Pink-chaddigiri, but later modified it to hold a wider spectrum of the Pink range! I know that the fans of Munnabhai’s Gandhigiri, will frown in disapproval at my having stolen a coinage from their absolutely laid back hilarious film, that did show the world that certain things, done in a certain, way, especially in a non violent way, will reap certain harvests, most of it being Positive.

And so also this unleashing of a novel way of making our voices heard and noticed, and ensuring that the dart, the arrow from Cupid’s bow makes a mark, if not in the heart, at least elsewhere :D, and makes those villains dyed in the vilest purple turn pink at the thought of such, Oh My ..Such Shame!

There are detractors, and there will be. I have deliberately not sought out those either to read, or to share here, for I believe that sometimes we need to do something, think out of the box, and engage ourselves in unexpected ways of confronting issues, so that finally the ends are achieved. In this case it is to send a strong message across that we would like you to understand, please, Mr M. that it’s not about Valentine’s, it’s not about morality, but it is about showing strength, which you did in the most undignified fashion. Not you, but your goons being incited to beat up young girls, molest them publicly, in the name of Morality.

So let us now learn a lesson in Morality. In Shame. From whence begins an awareness of doing what is dignified. When you were in class, Mr M., there must have been occasions when the teacher did scold, or even tease you in class. [She/He did, didn’t she/he? Or were you such a double dyed brigand then that they dared not? But yes, years ago, there were Morals, with a capital M, like yours, weren’t there?] If you did feel a sort of shame, you would certainly have tried to be a better person for that! If it was deserving, all the more reason to change, isn’t it?

Therefore, it is in your best interest, to relive a certain feeling again. To learn, Mr M. that a group of like minded individuals, who do not believe that their choices have to be made for them by those whose tunnel vision is anything but democratic, in this country, are firm and strong, and will not let a beautifully and sensibly articulated Constitution of a Great nation, be crucified or held ransom to the will of a few misguided and misogynistic men, whose only answer to anything that inflames their sense of Morality [lol, do you understand the word, Mr M? Or you hoolig-sorry-party workers ?] is to take it out on young girls, sometimes kidnap, sometimes force an apology for no reason, but in all cases, bring great distress to the victim. Some morality indeed this, if it does nothing positive for anyone! Finally, it is not your Call. It is not. NOT.

Get that, Mr M?

***

I shall make tomorrow a Pink Day. A Pink Letter Day in the best of traditions. At school, sharing a lot of your wonderful work with my colleagues, I urged them to wear Pink tomorrow 🙂 Their responses ranged from giggles, [at the thought of the Pink Chaddi Campaign] to, but why we don’t celebrate Val. Day! So I, like a dog, with a bone, unwilling to let such an opportunity pass, got on to the Soap Box and railed, at why. I think I did convince them.. Lol, and there were a few nods! Along with a few comments..”It’s the Pub culture! ” So I said, well, it may be, but then this is a democracy, and shutting down the pubs is going to ensure nothing but a slump in the economy, especially here in Kerala, where liquor accounts for the maximum by way of the State’s revenue! And so a few squirmed, a few hummed and hawed, but well, I tried, I did 🙂 And for that I am glad! I know there will be pink in the air, in some pockets, for sure, here too.. 🙂

For now, that is assurance enough. The voices will gather strength; it must and will happen.

For all those who will be out, visible and in really happening places, especially the Delhi Protest, the gatherings in different cities, and also the delivering of the Pink chaddi’s to the bête noire of the nation’s thinking and rational populace, best wishes from all of us, who are with you, heart and soul! We’re there too, walking alongside, and making that protest. We’d like to make our choices , thank you, Mr M!

Do read this one from Indian Homemaker. It is a powerfully moving post, why we need to!

13 February, 2009

Edited to add: For those in Bangalore, do join the protest march, at MG Road at 12 noon. More details on Indyeah’s post here:)


19 Comments

Inked in Pink

Inking the world, in India, lol, has only one colour for those who value sanity and will not cower in the face of injustice, however infinitesimal it’s perception might be. Pink.

This is not a protest to just say we want to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It goes beyond that to preserve a culture, indeed, of having the privilege of being an Indian, with a Constitution that grants one a freedom, as Indyeah’s wonderful posts, here and here, have spoken.

While celebrating a day set aside of love, however it is perceived, from the West, North, South or outer space, has anyone forgotten, [read, Ravan Sena] that finally it is a beautiful sentiment, and a feeling of comfort that one is celebrating? That no other country save India, right down the ages, in its more than 5000 years of heritage having come under the influence of so many differnt religions, culutures and influences, ingrained from each the best to emerge a beautiful mosaic of beauty and sense. Again, there is wonder of discovery of the Universality of the beautiful emotion of Love at her blog [Indyeah, you rock!]

And while we gather our selves to show that we shall not bow down to the dictates of an earthworm like vision of those who would like to send the nation back to the Dark ages, I find this out of the world. Mr M. in a new outfit, blazing an entry this weekend, at a Theatre Near You! Solilo, my dear, You Rock Too!

There is the Pink Chaddi Campaign, having got everyone’s attention, the details of which you will find below. A bit of pink hoisery one hopes will go far in restoring respect where due.. :D!!!

Consortium of Pubgoing, Loose and Forward Women

And then there is the Flood Pink, here, at IHM’s blog, which is turning pink at the onset of flooding the virtual world and the real, with the Wonder of Pink! Each of us can in our own way contribute to ensuring that one does something, anything that day, that emphasizes that we shall not be subjugated to a backward thinking policy!

So where ever you are, if you can, show the faith in thinking Pink, to ensure that our Culture stays safe, and is not gagged and bound and trussed up like that chicken who simply squawked and did not voice her notions!

If anyone or anything has to stew, or be barbecued, let it be the notion that our culture is at risk. Celebrating love can never put any culture at risk. Never. [I guess I am using never too much :)]

Wishing each and every gesture of faith, for Love, on Valentine’s Day, all success.

Love will show the way.

12 February, 2009