A 55 er. Thanks for the inspiration, Solilo 🙂
Come, his eyes begged.
Stay, her pliant soul searchingly reached out.
Fingers entwined, feet shuffling, slowly, heart thudding; slowly their fingers moved, apart, fingertips lingering, the invisible strings of love straining between…
The bus arrived. She stood, watching, a hollow curved within, in gut wrenching pain.
He left. She stayed.
And, impossibly, their love grew.
25 March, 2009
Post Script:
This is what a 55 er is; information from Solilo’s post 🙂
A literary work will be considered 55 Fiction if it has:
- Fifty-five words or less (A non-negotiable rule)
- A setting,
- One or more characters,
- Some conflict, and
- A resolution. (Not limited to moral of the story)
Do try your own. I found it like a haiku in prose. Darned difficult, I tell you 🙂 So I shall excuse you if you deem this to be as silly as I think it is 🙂 🙂 With a cliche of a heading to boot. Lol!
But… and this is the most important thing… read closely…:)
I had FUN!
🙂
Pic. Courtesy: http://www.upaa.org
March 26, 2009 at 9:46 pm
Vivid, graceful, elegant. Period. 🙂
Would love to see more 55F from you, ma’am!
Peace.
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March 26, 2009 at 9:59 pm
Karthik, you’re a life saver 🙂 And a 55er saver too! Thanks a ton!!!Nice nomenclature, 55F:D!
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March 26, 2009 at 10:15 pm
🙂 great story….. I just loved it… 🙂 this is the first blog I have read today and it has made a bright start to my day….. 🙂 thanks!
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March 26, 2009 at 10:41 pm
Ajith, thanks so much 🙂 Made my day too 🙂
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March 26, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Usha, I knew you would do complete justice to it. You are a born writer and what words! Mashallah!
Loved it. Sometimes we just need few words to portray myriad of emotions.
It is indeed Haiku in prose.
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March 26, 2009 at 11:08 pm
beautiful!! would love to see more 🙂
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March 26, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Awesome..Look how much can a few words of yours tell..
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March 27, 2009 at 12:05 am
Ahh so beautifully done. Just like your poems! very tender 😀
I have tried this before
http://catawampusme.blogspot.com/search/label/55%20words.%20short%20story
My tries 😛 do check it out when you get time 🙂
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March 27, 2009 at 12:49 am
This is like you have taken all those stories..you know the ones I used to sigh over so much:)
and put all the emotions in a 55er:))
(((hugs)))
loved it:)
it appealed to the romantic in me.:)
55ers were made for you ,were they?:)
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March 27, 2009 at 7:44 am
Wow – this is really beautiful – you have a way with words – even if they’re only 55!
Hugs
Corinne
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March 27, 2009 at 11:02 am
An incurable romantic’s 55-word fiction 😉
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March 27, 2009 at 2:56 pm
wonderful!!!! so very wonderful..i juz loved this!! you know why!! 🙂 love you!! 🙂
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March 27, 2009 at 3:27 pm
Toooooo Gooooooood….
its tooo good… and infact it seemed as if you used more words…
i counted it and was amazed its only 55…. they seem a lot more though !!!!
your use of words is powerful !!!
wonderful !!
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March 27, 2009 at 6:12 pm
Prose or verse, Usha ji you are too good with words.
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March 27, 2009 at 10:54 pm
Too good! It just shows when someone is good with words and more so with silence, 55 or 100, doesn’t matter. What matters is quality and innovation. You have them in abundance.
LOVED the concept and the piece. Keep sharing such tempting works!
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March 27, 2009 at 11:07 pm
Nice. 🙂
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March 28, 2009 at 12:07 am
Solilo, it is most so, because of your inspiration 🙂 So thank you too, all over again!
Imp’s MOm, thank you… this was so difficult; so I know that more of the same would be .. Impossible?? 🙂 🙂
N, 🙂 thank you so much!
Meena, am long overdue for a visit to your place. Shall do so, soon I hope! 🙂 Thank you for your kindness 🙂
Indyeah , Meg.. dunno if they were made for me, but I did have fun, though it ws so hard!!! Thanks a ton for those lovely words, as always!
Corinne , 🙂 Thanks so much!
poonam lol, yes indeed, an incurable romantic. On the dot there 🙂 Thanks so much!
Sashu, indeed, Iknow why you love this… 🙂 The love will always grow, Sash… you have my word on that 🙂 🙂 Thanks so much Sweetheart 🙂
Dhiren, lol, I was sure too, that it exceeded 55.. but then, well I guess it is an optical illusion, lol! Thanks for the lovely comment!
Balvinder , 🙂 Thanks so much for the wonderful compliment! Made my day!
Soumya , you mean 55 or 100, I am not willing to let it go, lol! Thanks so much, it’s so good to have your words here too!
Dev, thanks 🙂
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March 28, 2009 at 12:31 am
I am so late here, and what a lovely story here!!! Absolutely brilliant.
Loved it!!
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March 28, 2009 at 12:52 am
A really awesome post. Words and emotions have been beautifully crafted to make a medley of feelings. This was an inspiration for me to do a 55er. Enjoyed the possible “Impossible…”
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March 28, 2009 at 10:25 am
IHM, it is so lovely to see your words here 🙂 And to revel in your compliments :D! Missed you 🙂 Thanks so much! Waiting for your 55 er now 🙂
Do try it!
JP, Thank you… am really going to enjoy my day, riding on those lovely words on the write! And I did so enjoy your 55 er too! Out of this world, 🙂 and in the skies, it makes it all so alive, and here 🙂 Thanks for picking it up!
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March 28, 2009 at 2:04 pm
Read the 55er. Lovely, so few words and yet so well expressed…Should try it but don’t think I can do justice to it like you have!
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March 28, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Usha, have you stopped reading my blog….?(loud wails and beatings on the chest…)Why…can’t find my blog on your list too…
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March 28, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Sindhu, sorry 🙂 Hope to be more regular there too 🙂 Just keep reminding me, in case I get lazy, ok? And thank you for the lovely words for the write. Do try your hand at it too!
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March 28, 2009 at 11:53 pm
I have read somewhere that ‘Absense to love is like wind to fire.It extinguishes the small and kindles the large’. You have brought that essence very well.
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March 30, 2009 at 3:54 am
Oh, I loved it!! Beautiful.
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March 30, 2009 at 11:14 am
I remember reading this and putting up along comment :(. for your tolerance I shall be impish again 🙂
One moment you paint the picture to be walloped in togetherness
He stood gaping at his shadow,
In weird thoughts and distant memories,
By cold snaps piercing the quietness,
Besides himself, he wailed her name,
Brusquely it came and stumbled he, in tame.
Then you stick them out like a crashed mirror, too bad to be string back again 😦
Un raaho mein paaya maine apne aap ko
Chiraag bhi kam they jahan roshni ke liye
Lau mili thi dil ke deeye se
Phir bhi anjaan thi nigaahein sacchai se
Siskiyon ne nirjeev kiya marm se,
Zindagi nammin hui geele kaagaz mein
koi jalata bhi nahin koi bahata bhi nahin,
is qadar hain akele rahaon mein dil ki,
koi bulata bhi nahi koi batlata bhi nahin
Auron ne toh kya Rangon ne bhi bewaafai ka saath diya !!!!
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March 30, 2009 at 11:46 am
Loved It..!!!!! beautifully written….
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March 30, 2009 at 9:09 pm
PRG, thank you :)That quote seems rather apt for the theme too!
Pallavi 🙂 Thanks!
Prabhu, awesome, awesome shayari, 🙂 But no, the post did not receive any earlier comment from you 🙂 Perhaps blogger loved it so much that it kept it for itself 🙂 Thanks a ton as always, for lighting up the posts 🙂
Devil Incarnate:)Thank you!
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March 30, 2009 at 10:22 pm
Twas a poem not a shayari 🙂
Am kinda afraid of letting out my Hindi works in open- “Too much of criticism can make idle brain wreck :P”
Never knew you would like Hindi 🙂 Couple of Hindi posts :-
http://shylockspeaks.blogspot.com/2007/10/blog-post.html
http://shylockspeaks.blogspot.com/2007/04/zindagggiiiiii.html
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March 31, 2009 at 1:12 am
Have done one too, Usha…do read!
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March 31, 2009 at 3:00 pm
Ahha, I really liked it!! wonderful.
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April 4, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Outstanding,Usha!In those few words you could say so much.Only a writer of your caliber can pen such wonderful prose.
Thank you so much for sharing:)
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April 4, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Very refreshing and crisp.
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April 5, 2009 at 6:48 pm
Prabhu, you ought to let those works out. And while I have the bare minimum in deciphering… I can recognize poetry in Hindi when I see it 🙂 Shayari it is, for me 🙂
Sindhu, wl come over, if I havent already 🙂
Chirag, thanks!
Deeps, oh no, its because of so much inspiration everywhere 🙂 Thanks for the kind words!
Mampi, thanks!
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April 6, 2009 at 8:07 pm
It’s beautiful! Loved it!
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April 7, 2009 at 12:48 pm
Thank you Mystic Margarita 🙂
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April 8, 2009 at 2:17 pm
Oh I loved this 55er!! It was brilliant!!! I don’t know how I missed it it your old blog! Wow!
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April 8, 2009 at 2:30 pm
Smitha… 🙂
thank you so much!
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