A Quest on Overdrive … :)

An eccentric rambler on life's lessons and mercies, found and lost… :)


The Ballad of the One Who Stayed

I watched “The Lunchbox” recently and was reminded of this write here, called “The Nit Picker’s Ballad”, which I then shared on my Facebook Wall. That in turn brought me a couple of requests for a different ending… or the extrapolation of the narrative with a different ending. Here goes :)

On the shores, bereft, he stood
(Though it should be she
He having left at her honesty
At her gift of love)

Gazing long at the loyal waves
That came back again and again
Asking him, beseeching sometimes
To find his peace.

He was young, they seemed to say
Love will come around,
Their quiet murmur consoled
The soft splash had nothing to do
Really, with the twin trails of tears
That found their way down his eyes.

Oh no! Not love. Not forever.
He knew they did not exist.
It was a lesson he was taught.

A niggling doubt, a tiny seed sown
By her yearning eyes. Her silent plea.
By her unshed tears, and brave smile
As she watched him back away.
As she watched, and did not cling.
Did not pursue.

Was he wrong?
Must he unlearn?
He would try, he had to try
He knew.
Else there would be no way
To ease the agony of his heavy heart.

Back he went, his footprints
Erased by each happy wave
That egged him on, to seek, to love
Then hold on, and never give up
Or give in, to the
Traitorous thoughts that reneged
On faint promises made to himself!

He followed, swift, the trail of wet prints
In the soft moist sand, landwards
Till he came upon her, seated
Knees drawn up, chin on knee
A faraway sadness enveloping…
In the shadows of her thoughts,
And the small fishing boat!

May I sit? hesitant, he asked.
Mute, she nodded.
May I simply hold your hand?
His voice trembled as he asked.

I couldn’t stand for you to then leave, she said
I won’t, a soft whisper from him, if you’ll let me stay.

Let you stay? When did I ask you to leave?
You walked, away, away…
And will you, again? she did not look at him
As her pain reached out and pierced his heart.

I couldn’t leave, I couldn’t leave…
I went away, but couldn’t leave,
Hoarsely he repeated over and over…
There were loveless shores of such emptiness
He’d wandered, that he knew, unlearned,
And learned yet again…

Trust or not, Love or not,
Forever or not…
His survivor’s heart needed her saviour’s heart…

And as they simply held hands
Leaned into each others’ love,
A flash of insight struck his mind -
He who was doomed to wander ever
Would now find safe harbour

In his sails wafted promises of another day
Another moment, another soul
To love, to be loved.

How glad he was
He chose to stay!

Online, 29 June, 2014

Under 500 words. :D


Truly, Madly, Deeply…

… (gotcha! :P ) lionhearted and lionheaded is he :) No questions asked.

Who? THE Lion in our family; my second-born, Ashwin, who celebrates the beginning of  yet another year, Lion-size :D Yes, yes yes… I know I’ve already overdone the regal feline metaphor, but what the heck that is what I want to do today, for there is no one I know more of a Lion, than he. :) This here’s my 2 million for him :P (Leos never do, or give anything in half measures, or small change :P :P! Right, Ashwin? )

Here, at this blog, on days that go 2 or 3 August, you’ll definitely find a post; same as for 11 or 12 April. Each year I like to add to it; Except for some rare occasions, we’ve hardly spent birthdays together, the kids and I, over the past nearly ten years :) The last one where we were together was a long long time ago, I guess :) When you were in school, maybe? Ah, never mind! Each time I write a post for you, dear one, I travel back, and look forward, simultaneously – with all the nostalgia and the anticipation that love brings forth! This year’s special though, isn’t it? :)

From the time you were that cub, shy, and absolutely possessive of his mother, like that little cub who’d hiss and spit at anyone who got too close, to the graceful, handsome Lion you grew to be, you’ve always had that innate sense of grace… even when you’d cry :D


Of course, it’s another matter altogether, when we come to your dance steps, or maybe even to your songs, eh, Neeti? :P :P

What’s amazing is the way you delved deep within and found what made you YOU, and went right for it. And how you tried your hand at everything, and anything: be it that wonderfully recited “Sherwood”, the Gita Chanting, Classical Music, Chenda, not to mention games that Meera Teacher and I came and baby sat you guys for :D LOL! Those were the best of times I think! And of course, the pièce de résistance, at your farewell party! Vel Muruga, Haroooo Haraaa! You’ll never live that down, and I’m just dying to give your kids the real stuff on that performance. I know your friends have archived it safely :D :D

We’ve come through so much together, haven’t we? I mean I’ve barely touched the tip of the metaphorical parenting skills you have here (link) :lol: Once upon a sometime I mothered you, and now I suppose it’s time to get back at me :D But seriously, I think one thing we all, ALL, me, yours, Arjun, and Arjun’s agree is on this! You and Neeti are going to make a great set of parents, whenever you guys decide to be that, and I’m so looking forward to coming and making mischief with them :D I gotta make you work you know! But please, do take your own sweet time! I don’t think I’ve had my fill of babying you yet :P !!!

I’ve been writing inside my head whatever was supposed to come out here, but the danged thing is that it’s playing hookey…. what more can I say, here, that I have not before? :mrgreen: Ah, dear readers, you thought I’d give in? Or give up? Nyet!

Are you Calvin or are you Hobbes? Remember how we discovered them together, and guffawed at those amazing comical, and awesomely entertaining stories that came out?

And the way you sent me to school, took me and dropped a very very reluctant me on the first day of school, was it in 2010? How I got the shock of my life when I returned home that day to discover an album dedicated to ‘Ammakutty’s first day at school”, on Facebook, and the captions, OMG, the captions!!!! Oh Gawd! I shall never live down that image reversal that I earned that day! And slowly but surely the reputation is wearing off. Like literally! I have you to thank, for making that happen :D

Here it is:

Ammakutty: But...i dont want to gooo **sniff** **sniff** eeeeeeee Me : Amma i'll be right ouside ur class wenever u want to see me just peep out!!  :D :D

Ammakutty: But…i dont want to gooo **sniff** **sniff** eeeeeeee
Me : Amma i’ll be right ouside ur class wenever u want to see me just peep out!! :D :D

Amma Kutty : See See new dessh, nuu saandel, penchil boschh, penn , rubber!!  Yay !! My school beginsss!!

Amma Kutty : See See new dessh, nuu saandel, penchil boschh, penn , rubber!!
Yay !! My school beginsss!!

I miss you sweetheart, I do, especially on the day school re-opens!!

Even though it took a while for the Lion to be, from the cub that was, once that happened, there has been no looking back has there? The journey has been amazing, especially for me. Knowing how much of a Lionheart you needed to have to do what you did :) :)

And the amazinggggessssttt thing, EVER, was to bring me Neeti. Period :) I cannot even begin to tell you how much of an alter ego she is. The connect that I have with her is something very very special, VERY special :) Thank you, ever :) In fact both of you, Arjun and You, you’ve given me soulmates too, in them :D However cliched that might sound! :D



To you, sweetheart, Achukutts, here are some wishes… just some, for this blog cannot hold all that my heart wishes for you :)

That you find rainbows, always and each time, after each of those lovely lovely drenching rains of joy :)
We’ve got your back, you know :) Just like you have ours… I wish it will always be that way :)
Loads of smiles, less of worries… ALWAYS
A time of peace, when you wish it, and LOUD Music when you do :)

And Love. Always, and a day after forever. (Yeah, that is on Arjun’s post too… still, I could not have put it better. Even though I did say it myself, the first time around :P)
Maybe someday, you’ll perform a Vel Muruga, just for us?

Till then, I’ll leave you with the lungi song you’ve suddenly found a liking for! LOL.

And… what did I forget? Ah!

Happy Birthday Ash!

I love you.

And I’m not Lion. (hehehe… that’s from this card, which will reach you by Air (fe)Male, on Monday, hopefully!)

Ash b7 Ash b8

Have fun, dearest Chottutts. The world is truly your oyster, and you’re a precious pearl, will always be, for me :) God Bless!

2 August, 2013, for 3 August, 2013

PS I’m smiling smiling smiling, everywhere aren’t I? LOL. And Yessss! I made it to 1k plus words!!!


Love, and More… :)

I’m a die-hard romantic. Dyed-in-the-wool mush and goo addict that I even have a category for it :D And this is why. Each time Love finds a way. Each time I’ve seen love at work, I know it’s just another miracle, living out it’s daily routine. But a miracle, nonetheless :)

There is this guy. He is a romantic as well, but hides it well. He had the words, the heart, and sometimes I’ve felt, so very much, the need to be loved, just for himself, for what he is, not what he can be. And found it. Just like that. Love found a way. :) :)

And she? Just another girl-next-door, you might think. Or a paragon of all-that-it-takes-to-make-dreams-come-true? Way beyond :) But I shall not pigeon-hole her; suffice to say she’s a beauty, inside and out :) :)

The story? Now, that’s straight out of the Romantic Comedies, and the Mush and Goo he loves, just like I do :D Imagine this: her brother’s marriage; he’s the best man. (Oh yeah. Right. You KNOW). He’s at their residence a week in advance, DDLJ ishtyle. Helping with the preparations, ferrying the groom’s dad and his friends around the place. Taking ‘her’ around to do shopping/ beauty parlour visits. He’s generally the Man Friday. And people are ‘talking’ about him and her. Everyone pooh poohs the idea. Her mother, her brother, the groom ie… :P And of course, the two. I mean, seriously. And that was not a cover-up. Sounds like that film you saw?

Ok. The wedding is done. The relatives departing. Friends also. And he. But once he’s back at work, even before that, when he spends quality time with his other best friend, Jyo, and his brother, he, while talking, makes THE REALIZATION. This is it. And calls the groom-turned-new-husband. Her brother. Then her parents.  After speaking to her :D

And she? Well, errrmmmm…. she too. It grows on her, what she is missing. Who, rather :) He calls, after her brother speaks to her. They talk. There is still, of course, the matter of asking her father. That too, soon enough. And, all the while his mother wonders :D, what’s happening! Is it the sane choice? It’s Two States playing out. Only this time, it’s the South Indian Bwoy and the North Indian Gal. But what the heck, she revels in that sorta thing. As does her other offspring :D :D

He doesn’t call his mother. His friend does. Her brother, to give the ‘good news’, his privilege he calls it. The mother is rather puzzled, confused, and dying to talk to her son. At that very point in time, her son loses his mobile phone. Dang it! She, the mother that is, is NOT going to say anything till she’s spoken to the lover boy. No sireee! Within half an hour, she gets a call from a new number, from, of course, her son. She says she’ll get back, as she’s in the middle of work, and cannot talk.

Nail-biting nervous hours later, they talk. He talks rather. She queries as to the state of the ‘emotion’. Love she believes in. Infatuation? She knows that too.

Knowing, soon enough, that it’s the real thing, she’s at peace. But no matter what she might have thought, no matter at all, it is their life, she knows, and knows too that they would take what decision they did, responsibly.

They did.

And with all of our blessings, they got married. Last year, today. 29 June.


29 June, 2012

Today, they celebrate their first wedding anniversary. The first, I know, of the many they are going to count. As they will the blessings and prayers that come to them from all of us. Me mostly. :P And Ashwin and Neeti, and their granparents, Ammai, G’amman, Kiran, Lakshmi, Appu, Paru, Kuttan, Chinnu (from Pet’s Paradise :) ), other family, friends, and all those who love. :)

Ammumz, Mush, Viju n Anu, Vinu n Trips , and of course, Ash, with Me :D

Ammumz, Mush, Viju n Anu, Vinu n Trips , and of course, Ash, with Me :D

With younger two, too - who had a few more months to go :) Ashwin and Neeti :)

With younger two, too – who had a few more months to go :) Ashwin and Neeti :)

That’s the US :) above.


With Kiran and Lakshmi

Ammai n Gopimman :)

Ammai n Gopimman :)

Arjun, my first born, and Pratibha, my Parukutty, here’s the biggest, most lovingest hug ever, from me. And yet another never-ending stream of prayers and wishes, to flood your life with love, joy, togethernesses :)

Arjun has been sailing since the first week of June, and has just returned in time, just in time, to be with Paru for their first :) How glad we are for that!


At Ashwin and Neeti’s Reception :)

My darling Paru and Arjun, you are so dearly loved. Stay blessed. And lead each other as you have in your relationship, with equanimity, scaffolding each other, walking side-by-side, with the sun shining out on you always :) Or at least soon after any squall that comes :) :)

May you be the best you can, to each other. God Bless, always.

28 June, 2013 for 29 June 2013


Marble in a Bottle

I’m that glass marble
You loved to play with
Kept me polished you did
And loved me true!

I took all those knocks
When you played
Fierce and focussed
With nary a thought
But the win!

Kicked in dirt,
Slammed, and shot
Still, the shine stayed on
Still, I played
Rather, you played me…

You soft caress
Almost unthinkingly teasing
A careless toss
Jingling and tingling
Oh! How I lived for it!

Till today, when, yet again
You played me.
I stayed true
But the shot was off
And a sliver was lost…
As was the game!

Still I stayed
Because you just
Couldn’t leave
Who knew, would another
Play me?

Scarred, am I?
Inviolate, I thought.
It would seem, so did you.

And so I’m kept safe
Rattling around
Looking on, yearning ever
Looking at you
Playing prettier ones…

Too bad, the bottle was made of glass.







7 May, 2013
Online. I meant to write something else. Funny how you never get to choose :D
Pic. Courtesy, Google Image Search :)


Nit-Picker’s Ballad

On the loveless shores of dissatisfaction
He wanders, dark and sombre.
She said she loved him, you see.
And he wonders why.

You, the reader, would now smell a skunk.
You don’t? You’re supposed to. There!
Why does he wonder why! Because, you think?
Fine. But why?

He wonders, that’s why.
Now, why he should, does it matter at all?
No, you think? Why not, I ask.

Walking the shores, with promises of love
Given endless dreams, and lustrous hopes
A hand held warm, a heart cosseted gently
Why would he wonder? Why should he?

But then he is that alter ego of everyman
The one that never takes on trust,
The one that fell foul of love
The one who found no love within.

And yet that one, too, is he
That quietly stood, and braved the angst
When she lost her mooring.
Gathered her when she was washed ashore
From a tumultuous voyage, bereft, and battered.
She knew. Though he did not.
Saviour he was not. Survivor, he was.
As was she.

A pause to this tale, here now;
To tell you how love, it creeps upon you.
Perhaps to envelope, perhaps to smother,
But always to fill each pore, till replete it is.
And so it was, with her. She knew.
And so it was, with him. He did not.

So there comes, then, this moment:
Survivor to survivor; the honesty of a heart,
The unfathomable depths of utterance
And the incomprehensible betrayal of the ear.

She confessed. He ran.
In circles, on that loveless shore afore mentioned.
What then? The storyteller is asked.
What then? And you wait with bated breath.
Willing a fairy tale to happen.
Knowing that some things are never to be.

Will he stay?
Will she accept, then?

But ah! The threads, they dissemble, the weave fragmented…
And the spell of the storyteller is broken.
He sighs. His gnarled fingers wrap themselves around his staff.
And on, he plods.

Thinking, dreaming, of what could have been.
Had he stayed.

1 March, 2013
Online, on yet another silly line of thought :)


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