Implosion

Why is it that the heavy heart

Never slows down, despite my willing it?

Why does that indefinable, infinitesimal

Infernal lump in my throat still allow me to breathe?

Why, even when I drown in self inflicted silence,

Do words impinge, float, escape, and express themselves?

Even as my heart, my soul curl themselves back

Into the fetal form, closing themselves

Turning inward, why do I still go on

And move, and find myself open

Vulnerable

 

Why cannot I let that period define

And close a labouring life?

Curl my whole self, tightly

Airlessly, compacting myself

Implode, to that zing.

 

Pulling the plug, within.

 

26 April, 2012

My Most Beautiful Thing

In the mosaic of existence
Try as I might, I cannot
Pick a speck – for each
Is intertwined

There is bliss
Pure, uncontested;
Revelling in a moment
Lived well;
Finding harmony-
Rarer than a four-leaf clover-
That chances upon you
Unawares
Elusive, in a blink

That bliss-
Drenching in a sudden shower
A stolen kiss
Revelling -
In the joy of mischief played
In the innocence of the victory then
The harmony
Of a silence, a fierce warm hug

The most beautiful thing is
Being given that chance-

To celebrate Life.

24 April, 2012

This is part of my contribution for My Most Beautiful Thing, the Blogsplash where bloggers all over are participating, sharing their moments, pictures, writes, feelings, on this topic. It has been inspired by Fiona Robyn’s book “The Most Beautiful Thing”, which is available on Kindle, for free, today! This page on Facebook,  gives you details, and lots of posts on beautiful things, to read and rejoice in!

24 April, 2012

Lesson

Disappointment has a rancid taste.
One you don’t expect;
One that will, each time,
Take you by surprise.

No matter that you anticipate,
Expect and avoid, simultaneously.
No matter that you know
It will somehow sneak in.

Contrary as it seems
There is a pattern.

Each time, the same.
The build-up to expectation.
The garnering of shreds
Of feeling, tangible and otherwise.
The neglect of  the knowing.
The  ignorance.

The pattern falling in place.

And you tell yourself.
I know. I knew!
I’ve learnt my lesson.

Ha!

20 April, 2012

Exuberance – Haiku

Bubbling over with

Sudden sparkles of frothy

Effervescent joy!

18 March, 2012

(Entirely instigated by misplaced exuberance of young girls of my class who indulged in a bit of graffiti in school, and were apprehended, red-handed . They wrote “Exuberantz” supposedly a “gang” name. Horrors! Yes, I did my thingy of ogre-ishness, and then wondered: How I love that word!
Hence. Because. And So. )

More Haiku, here. 

Picture, Google Images.

Def-i-ance

Of freedom,
Bound within
Acceptance.

Not, let free
In typecast stereotypes.

I’ve wondered
Ever so often
What defines me-

The willingness to be me;
Or the obligation otherwise

Answers elude.

Till then I’m bound to be

Free, to be pigeonholed.

 

4 March, 2011

Merging – Haiku

Would that I could be

A silhouette on your soul

Friends beyond sunsets!

1 March, 2012

On a prompt from Shail Mohan, in her reply on her beautiful post

Picture, Copyright,  Shail Mohan

Worded

A piquant thought nudges me-
As to
Why words topple into me
When the clocks tick midnightwards.
Perhaps they’re tired of hanging out of reach
And think I might just not notice
As they slither down the thought strings?
And so with eyes dry drowned in midnight oil
I grab them, before they squirm out of reach!
Only to array them before me
And wonder, suddenly, where all the magic did go

I should have left them be.
Sigh.

28 February, 2012

Stuff

Stuff.
I write stuff.
In-your-face, sometimes.

Tantalizing, to myself.
Nerdy, to most.
Often, surreal, to all.

For, the meaning, the picture
Is hazy when seen through eyes
That do not own words.

See? You’ve got to see them
Then touch them just a bit
As you roll them round your tongue…

Feel that quiver perhaps when a tiny
Plosive sound echoes a heartbeat’s cry.

Bah! What’s that? You gag!
I’ve known terrorists you know,
The kind whose “plosive” *snigger snigger*
Sounds I’ve laughed away…

And you. You. You perhaps
Insinuate, I cannot fathom
The utter senselessness of
That word?

Which one? I ask.
You’re not sure, I can see.
Which plosive sound? Did I not
Just implode, with that suggestion?

And that is what I did mean.
A word like Love.
A word that cries.
A sound that smells
Of disdain.

Breath rushes out between
Half opened, sometimes closed lips
When you articulate. I beg you.
See.

Even when sounds defy
Phonetic seriousness
Not adhering to norms.
See.
Touch.
Taste.

When you listen.

And then, then only
Will I grant that you can
Read.

Stuff.

 

26 February, 2012
Online, on a silly line of thought

Flickering Candle, Immeasurable Light

In the deep distant expanse
That I traverse within, I find
No light.

The pit, the darkness, sometimes
Does comfort. It helps to know I cannot see.
Eyes, inward, heart hurting, seeking
Absolution, from emptiness.

And then it glows. You do. You.
Broken journey; you make me halt.
You light that candle, that shines into-
Not just without, but within.

I’m forced to acknowledge; blink;
You cannot know how that hurts.
Even from a flickering candle. It does.

When I cannot but live with so little,
How will I ever measure up to that
Which you give? But take I must.
Live, I shall.

The choice has been made.
I will merge into your light,
Seeking that shade, which I yearn for.

But.
Darkness was so comforting.

20 February, 2012

A Lifetime of Love

Thoughts gathered from musty corners
(Of my forgotten heart, and vigilant mind)
Of an aeon ago, tell me how much
How very much I did not know
How, I did not live…

How very much, I
Yearned, to do, just that.

And so I come a full circle.
To this. We. Us.

To that moment when love
Joined life, and we began.
To each waking moment
Or slumberous dream…
Stalking closed lids
And warmly held closenesses.

To smiles, thrown in abandon;
To enjoyment in a child’s shout of laughter;
To holding hands and quick hugs;
And leaning my head, into your shoulder;
Of a pat on the back,
A sneaking admiration, open-mouthed
But well-hidden!

Of how I stand back, and let you …
Do all you ever wanted to;
Knowing it is Love, of yourself,
And therefore another, that lets
You be the best, you can.

For you. For me. For us.
For Love.

13 February, 2012
Valentine’s Day, for me, is everyday, but special too, for it completes, and starts another year of celebrating Love, each day, each moment. Wishes to all of you too